You’re so small you could be taken for a foal :P

Mare: Why officer? * giggles *
 
Crystal Guard: Because I saw you looking at it. * smirks *
 
Mare: If you insist. * touches plot *
 
Crystal Guard: * gasps * * becomes aware of what’s happening * M-m-ma’am w-what are y-you doing?
 
Mare: * mockingly * Just following orders sir.
 
Crystal Guard: WHAT!? who gave you that order?
 
Mare: You did sir. * fluttering eyes *
 
Crystal Guard: … … … …
 
Mare: * now facing him directly * So did you like it? * flirting *
 
Crystal Guard: Well I like I- Mmmph * the mare has her lips locked with his *
 
Mare: * he talks too much oh Celestia he so good at kissing *
 
WELL YOU CAN FINISH THIS STORY I’LL LEAVE A COMMENT FOR WHO HAS WON IN A MONTH P.S YOU CAN NAME THE MARE AND GUARD IF YOU WANT

Won’t argue with you officer ;3 <3

Okay. * Pulls out a M1911 * Bye. * Shoots himself in the head * BANG

@justf*ckingL4R  
Hah. GAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEE.

@HJSDGCE  
You’re aware that males who like other males in a sexual context exist… right?

@Background Pony  

@HJSDGCE  
i assume you don’t like stallions?

@justf*ckingL4R  
 
 
 
 
 

@HJSDGCE  
I knew that. FOR THIS IS WHAT MAKES THE BOOTY SWEET!

@justf*ckingL4R  
That, my friend, is actually, don’t be too surprised, is a stallion.  
dun dun DUN!
 
Check the tags.

So I get to touch the booty and get a cake!? This is the best day of my life!

@DudeManGuy
 
…I’m… Going to adorn the body of a stallion?

@UnderUberSpy  
You shouldn’t laugh at all. You’re next.

@Gentle Coltte of Leisure
 
I laughed a lot harder than I should have

@Gentle Coltte of Leisure  
Noo!  
Not the donut glaze!

@Gentle Coltte of Leisure  
D8>

So THAT’S where all that leftover donut glaze went.

@Princess❤Cadence  
Might want to bring this to your hubby’s attention.

…….but I’m your princess..

“Bite my shiny metal ass.”  
“Doesn’t look so shiny to me.”  
“Shinier than yours, meatbag.”

…I don’t see a book written by you anywhere.

Well, I’m not one to argue with an officer of the law…

Oh, I’ll do so much more than just touch it.

You’ve violated the law