Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

Granted. The price is so low because now the place is rubbish.
 
I wish a pirate-themed Equestria Girls story.

It’s even worse than the last pirates of the Caribbean
 
I wish for a spring roll

Granted. It tastes like cinnamon.
 
I wish to have six servings of cinnamon roll.

They’re all from the trash
 
I wish I was on the road

Granted. You are driving a carpool of jerks who torment you by singing songs that you dislike very much.
 
I wish I was one of those jerks.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
You’re so broke that you have nothing to do besides waste twenty dollars making a driver’s life difficult.
 
I wish I could get married already.

Granted. You and your wife move to an outback house in Australia that has been infested with cockatoos kangaroos.
 
I wish I had an aviary.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  

You gotta corrupt it, though…
 
It’s filled with bird eating spiders.
 
I wish for a single pet red-tailed black cockatoo.

Granted. It builds a spaceship and flies away to Montana.
 
I wish Sonata Dusk was eating at a taco restaurant in Arizona (sounds like the name of a pair).

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
She takes control of everyone there with her magic.
 
I wish to have a girlfriend who beats me with me copper pipe whenever she feels like it.

Granted. She is Sonata Dusk, and she always whines to force you to go swimming with her.
 

 
I wish she can sing “Under the Sea” and other songs from the Little Mermaid in Spanish for those Arizonan diners.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
She coerces me into singing with my terrible singing voice.
 
I wish she would kiss me.

Granted. Adagio and Aria enter the restaurant and fight Sonata for your affection, while everyone else in the restaurant laughs and makes their clumsy brawl into a Youtube meme.
 
I wish people can make this into a Youtube Poop collab!

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
They post your real life name as the director, and female employers also beat you.
 
I wish I could be a trigamist with the Dazzlings.

Granted. You are now a knowing and willing collaborator with three vile characters.
 
I wish Plan Nine from Outer Space had been better made.

It’s still a nonsensical movie just with better models
 
I wish for a plane ticket

Granted. You end up in Bradistan, and all you see is a ruined city with drunks everywhere.
 
I wish I had a pet Clydesdale horse, such as Trouble Shoes.
 

You don’t get the necessary income to support him and by accident sell it to the glue factory
 
I wish magma was safe to approach

Granted, it’s properties have been switched with that of water.
 
I wish I could kill Daybreaker, in the name of the Night and its Empress.

Daybreaker has phoenix powers. Killing her wouldn’t do any more than just making her respawn in some seconds to kill you.
 
I wish I could have mind-control powers.

Granted. Your brain gets horrifically disfigured while you use your powers, and you use the mind-control powers to attack yourself.
 
I wish I have a sentient cherry tree.

Granted. It’s a Huorn who makes Old Man Willow look sane by comparison.
 
I wish Sweet Stuff appeared in FiM.

She’s used as the punchline to a shitty joke, and nothing else.
 
I wish for a lifetime supply of Flex Tape.

Granted. You accidentally burn it all, mistaking them for fireworks.
 
I wish I have a garden full of cherry tree topiaries.

George Washington rises from the dead to chop them all
 
I wish my college classes were half an hour apart from each other