Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

Granted. It burns in the oven.
 
I wish the Tourettes Guy became President of China.

The country collapses
 
I wish for a nice looking backpack

Granted. It’s a Rainbow Dash-themed bagpack that flies away due to a bored sentient drone.
 
I wish Lance McClain became a || god of the bisexuals ||, because with purple and blue he will look more cute and funny! РУОТАН ТУРО!
 
|| ||

The straight people take offense to it
 
I wish for a cool spacesuit

Granted. It traps you and a ghost residing in it possesses and mutated you into a Chaos Spawn.
 
I wish I can control monsters.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
They’re not attractive.
 
I wish I could date a woman more than twice my age.

@Zaknel  
She’s as old as your grandma.
 
I wish for a better car.

It’s a toy car
 
I wish it rained cotton candy

It rains cotton balls and candy corn.
 
I wish for a suit of armor.

It’s way too heavy
 
I wish for a bottle of Coke

Someone put mentos in it.
 
I wish to ace my exams

(Mentos only works on Diet Coke, not regular Coke so hah, wish not corrupted! >:D)
 
You pull a massive intense all nighters that you feel tired and sleepy for a month
 
I wish for a nice cologne

Wish granted, but there aren’t going to be any good occasions to wear it for the next several weeks.
 
I want a hot dog.

You get a Dachshund that is very warm.
 
I want to decide who lives, and who dies.

Congratulations! You are now a medieval king that is not very well loved by the public at large…who are about to stage a revolt.
 
I want a cheeseburger.

Spike: I wish that I would stop the pain that I have.

@Lord Goku  
Granted, but it’s Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you’d want in your Burger King burger is someone’s foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: “This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King.” Admittedly, he had shoes on.
 
But that’s even worse.
 
The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he’s rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn’t removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK’s “Tell us about us” online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said “Oh, I know who that is. He’s getting fired.” Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.
 
 
@Tarkan809  
Granted: Spike is dead.
 
I wish I didn’t get molested as a kid.  
I wish transphobia didn’t exist
 
Man, I have a lot more trouble playing this game than I thought I would. I’m having trouble thinking of something I actually wish for that isn’t controversial or depressing, and I feel like if I just made something up it would be disingenuous. I need to go to sleep anyway. I’d wish for near-instsnt sleep, but I don’t want that to be corrupted…
 
Oh wait, I got it! This one’s not real, but it sounds promising for a funny response!
 
I wish Michael Jackson didn’t die.

@O. Hancock  
Micheal jakson is alive but injured.
 
Go figure…

@Tarkan809
 
Granted: He goes and figures, but he gets the math wrong and accidentally flies to Chernobyl, running out of fuel in the process.
 
I wish more ponies would join us in the poetry thread. >///<

Granted. They use other languages, including some that they made up.
 
I wish we could speak in Quenya.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Yeah…
 
Granted and you can speak in Griffon language and you’ve encountered Gallus the rooster.  
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
 
 
Spike (Round 2): I wish Garble couldn’t be mean to me.

Granted. Ember falls in love with him instead of you.
 
I wish I have a pet Gallus who can crow every day.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Granted, but he now starts acting like a bird all the time and brings you  
gifts of dead rodents on a regular basis.
 
NSFW wish, do not read if under 18 or prude not interested:I wish wonderbolt stallions would bang me on a table and put tally marks on my ass everytime they creampied me. ^_^
 
SFW wish: I wish pinkie pie would bake me a banana cream pie. ^_^

Granted. The Wonderboy stallions bang the plate and the pie on your face, before they degenerate to a pie fight.
 
 
@Background Pony #49F2  

 

 
I wish my Gallus started crowing – I miss his COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOs.

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