[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Agent Luna  
That is horrible, I am sorry to hear that.

@warc9  
I guess
 
Idk
 
Probably not
 
Idfk
 

 
I’m confused :/
 
 
Well, I’m planning on working out tonight.. and I think I’m almost able to work out 2 hours at a time :D
 
I’ve been working out every day so not sure… Eventually I’ll start working out every other day
 
Although I’ll be at my brother’s wedding and I’ll be gone for 5 days in less than 2 weeks… And I probably won’t be able to work out at all because I won’t have the proper equipment and I’ll feel weird and depressed I’m not getting my workouts in… Especially since by that time I’ll probably be able to go close to 3 hours at a time… Damn… But then I’ll be back home and able to work out again :D
 
 
Fuck.. why is working out so addicting…
 

 
I also still need to work on singing in the second octave… I sound horrible :/ but the second octave sounds really sexy… Especially the middle and lower… Upper sounds good too but it’s when you start getting toward the bottom that ahhhhhhh~
 
 
Probably… 2G and lower.. oh yeah… <3 <3 <3

@warc9  
You always say that.

@Agent Luna  
Beacuse it’s true.
 
 
@Rainboom Dash  
I have no idea, but maybe cool off on the working out just a bit?

@warc9  
It’s a filler statement you say all the time. You don’t even mean it so stop saying it.

@warc9  
Cool off?
 
Not sure what you mean by that
 
If you mean wait until after the trip then no… I want to get as much in shape as I can now even if that means side effects during the trip… I want to work out THAT much that I’d be okay with some side effects rather than waiting a couple of weeks
 
In fact even though I’m exhausted from work and I just worked out yesterday I’m going to try to go 60-90 minutes today..
 
Hmm… I think A2 and lower is when it starts sounding sexy :D
 
So pretty close to the top of the second octave, really
 
Doesn’t have to be the bottom…

@Rainboom Dash  
Do less work outs per day?

@warc9  
I just do one workout a day…
 
I’m trying to do 90 minutes… well.. I gotta up the time…
 
Eventually I’ll do a 4-5 hour workout every other day… well, then you gotta take a break otherwise it drastically becomes less enjoyable

Sweetie Belle’s part sounds sexy in the lower octave :D
 
I know.. I just can’t stay on key no matter what octave I sing in on one part of Sweetie Belle’s notes… I always want to go like 2 semitones higher… and I suck on the “whoa” part
 
And pretty much suck on the whole song… meh… sigh
 
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1_qfl2IS3NdcEFGbzlzTWRqNXM/view?usp=sharing
 
Hmm, pretty sure I already linked this song
 
I just love Sweetie Belle’s part :D

I’m bored… I might go work out soon…
 
I’m hoping to be able to go 90 minutes… I guess 60 would even be good since I’m a little exhausted from work and since I worked out yesterday
 
But I really, really, really, really, reaaaaaally want to get in shape really soon… so maybe I should push myself to go 90 minutes…. and once I get to ~2 and a half to 3 hours I guess I should do it every other day

I’m just… lonely…
 
I don’t have many people to talk to… I don’t have a girlfriend to talk to… I just have 1 friend and we just hang out once a week… honestly our relationship is…. pretty ‘meh’ right now
 
Well, when we hang out we just… don’t really do much together….
 
Cause I’m a lazy fuck…. and my Xbox account got locked and I’m too lazy of a fuck to do the form to unlock it… I tried once and it got denied and I’m just like “fuck this”
 
Too lazy of a fuck to get a girlfriend
 
Too lazy of a fuck to do anything, really…
 
Except work out… and sing… that’s it… that’s fucking it
 
I still live with my parents even though I’m almost 23 because I’m a lazy fuck

I might take a nap first.. then work out
 
Yeah
 

 
I haven’t been eating a lot lately either… I’ve lost a lot of weight
 
Dunno how much… but probably at least around 10 pounds in a few months… so I probably weigh MAYBE 165 now.. and I’m still losing weight
 
It’s not as severe as it was a few weeks ago… I was only getting about 1,200-1,500 calories a day then… now I’m probably getting 2,000 (more if I work out) but I’m probably still losing a pound a week or something
 
I’m just too fucking lazy to eat sometimes…
 
I’m just so fucking lazy…. I should have killed myself a long time ago because I’m just a lazy fuck who… FUCK….
 
A confused lazy fuck

I feel like everything I like… noone else likes
 
Idk… I just feel…. lonely
 
I’m slightly drunk (well, on the edge of drunk) as I just had a whole bottle of wine (although only 8% alcohol content)
 
It was yummy… when is that beach err… damnit.. PEACH* belniei however you spell it coming in… that one is the best
 
I had the strawberry one or whatever
 
Anyway, everything I like noone else seems to like… and… idk… I just feel REALLY lonely
 
And I’m too fucking lazy to do shit that would make me feel better… well, I can work out… but that’s just temporary…. the feeling only lasts ~24 hours and only for like 5 workouts or so then you gotta take a break.. and I can’t work out for 4-5 hours at a high intensity for 2 days in a row…. I gotta do it every other day… so that means for 24 hours…
 
And as I said… I gotta take a break every once in a while….
 
I feel… like a werido… noone else seems to care what I like….well, no one here…. at least… yet everyone here seems to like the stuff everyone else likes… but me….

I just can’t wait to work out tomorrow…
 
I’m getting in shape quickly :D
 
Should be in shape enough to go 4 hours at a pretty decent intensity in just another 10 days or so… to think just about 16 days ago I couldn’t even go 20 minutes at a light intensity without straining a muscle… heh… now I’m going close to 2 hours at a decent intensity
 

 
 
Okay, I know, I’m a werido… noone gives a fuck about working out or singing…

@Rainboom Dash  
I’ve told many people they can talk to me yet they still say they have no one. I guess I’m just unlikeable. That might be why. I even try to strike up conversation and it goes nowhere.
 
At least say you have no one you like to talk to.

@Rainboom Dash  
I like you. I am concerned about you.@Agent Luna  
I like you too.

@warc9  
I’m fine… as long as I don’t severely hurt myself by getting in shape too quickly
 
I’m trying to go from pretty much not working out at all to doing 4 hour cardio workouts at a pretty high intensity within just 3 to 4 weeks… which… really if I even did 5 or 6 it’d be THAT much better but I just really want to get a long workout in ASAP
 
sigh
 
I just… I just had so many fucking delays… and then I got lazy and didn’t get in shape again for a while… and now I just can’t take it anymore…
 
So far I can go 2 hours at a heart rate of 160-170… and that’s after just 16 days of not even being able to work out for 20 minutes at a light intensity… so I’m definitely making pretty fast progress
 
Hoping to be able to work out for 4 hours within 10 days… then I can only get a workout or two in before my trip

You do have to be at least somewhat careful though…
 
I try to keep my heart rate 160-170 in the beginning… and then it can get 180-185 for an hour or two near the middle because my body goes numb and most of the pain goes away and it feels better the harder I work out and I get this massive boost of energy… those 3 factors make it REALLY hard to keep my heart rate below 180…
 
I used to just go at a heart rate of about 180 for 4 hours… but that’s not really healthy… and, actually, for the first couple hours really doing 160-170 doesn’t feel less good than going 180… and is that much healthier and safer… so…

And this is why I’m a weirdo… noone knows or cares what the fuck I’m saying…
 
Workouts are… amazing… for about 24 hours afterwards you feel super relaxed and almost nothing bothers you and you just feel happy… it’s.. yeah… I love workouts
 
And singing too… it’s… there’s something about when your voice blends with another voice… it’s like… man… it’s amazing

Point proven. I waste my time even bothering with anyone.
 
@warc9  
You don’t mean what you say and never explain anything.

@Rainboom Dash  
You are no stranger than I am. I spent about three hours yesterday researching [psychologically-accepted] sexual orientation scales and tried to match myself to one, because I was, and will likely remain for at least a month, curious of what to label myself as. I doubt that I will ever have an accurate answer to this introspection. :(

@Agent Luna  
Why do you say that?
 
And what is there to be explained?
 
I like you.
 
 
@Rainboom Dash  
Just take care ok?

@warc9  
Liking me for no reason at all and pretty much flipping everything I say into a few words to a sentence. What’s your goal here?

@Agent Luna  
To make you feel better, because I care about you, beacuse I like you.

@warc9  
I doubt that.