[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

Background Pony #6048
@Flutter_Lover  
@Genevamode  
i’ve had my whole life to think about life, the universe, and everything. and my conclusion points to ending it early. i don’t want to just stumble around not knowing what i’m supposed to do. we all die anyways so why prolong it.
Background Pony #5AAE
I’m coming back.
 
I feel like I’m dying. I’ve been on a bender. Mostly drinking. I had a gram of DXM at some point but I blacked out after dropping it, woke up sore af, and unable to drink water without vomiting. I got this howling noise in my head, and an inflamed uvula dragging across my tongue.
 
I want my uvula cut out. It feels like I’m constantly choking, and everything taste like stomach acid.
 
I’ve been wanting to come back, I’ll live with being a giant joke.
Background Pony #366C
@Background Pony #434A  
DXM was one of the last things I did before my drug induced psychosis. Couldn’t sleep for 3 weeks then couldn’t sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time every few days for a month. Took me 6 months to recover from that shit.
 
So much abuse to my mental health tbh
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
My worst experience with DXM also come with antihistamine overdose. Before I learned I could put the pills in a coffee grinder and filter the antihistamine off.
 
I remember for a time being plagued with the inability to sleep. Constantly high, always buzzing, abd I would sit in bed for hours and sleep would not come. I thought I could fix this by doing more of the drug, then I really lost my mind, I woke up in a mental health detention, and people said I would rub the walls talking about the colors but I don’t remember that.
 
Oh my uvula is fine after a couple days of eating right. I am BP#D11B, fresh new account with my OG name.
Background Pony #6048
the whole point of drug use for me is to feel good and have a good time. pretty much to make up for the mehness of reality. i dont try to over do it and i make sure to try and research what i can prior to using something new.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
@Background Pony #434A  
Yeah when I have memory loss, seizures or act like an asshole it’s profoundly embarrassing.
 
Memory loss outright insults my ego, I’d rather take the seizures, but the worst seizures have memory loss.
 
It’s all about remembering why you’re doing drugs in the first place. Adiction is just another term for maladapted motivation. Or in other terms being motivated to do things that have no benifit or are even damaging.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji  
i don’t really get many decent serotonin boosts so its nice sometimes to take something and feel good for a few hours. thats the driver for me. being able to feel good sometimes.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
@Background Pony #434A  
Seratonin is a wierd neurotransmitter involved in memory and motor control, and junk science links seratonin to feeling good.
 
This junk science runs deep, mostly because phychiatrist don’t have to know dick about actual physiology.
 
Depression can occur as a result of any metabolic pathway being disturbed. It is a lack of phasic glutamate, dopamine or noradrenaline activity in the corpus straitum, resulting in a reduction of reward seeking behavior and poor self assement. Tonic levels of noradrenaline can still be high causing intense, aimless anxiety.
 
Serotonin just doesn’t change much between people so it’s hard to pinpoint what it does. Serotonin drugs can make you sleep, they can make you trip balls, it can help with urinary retention.
 
Happy people have more 5htp, a seratonin precursor, this led to the idea that serotonin causes happiness, but the actual connection never held up.
 
Serotonin is still a glutamate analog, and as a result serotonin drugs can cause changes to adrenergic and dopaminergic systems.
 
Drugs that actually make people happy are the most addictive and destructive drugs in the world, and controls a large portion of the worlds economy. Cocaine, and methamphetamine for example, which act chiefly on dopamine and adrenaline and we use these drugs in the most treatment resistant cases of depression.
 
Edit “but what about pain pills, DXM or sauce. “  
The inhibitory drugs like alcohol, heroin and even pregabalin can cause a steady flow of excitory feel good neurotransmitters, and or lower the phasic threshold of these systems so you’re easier to satiate. This is why these drugs compete with the core dopamine drugs as most addictive.
 
Heroin might be more addictive than amphetamine. DXM is related to heroin but I like it because it’s disassociative effects counteract it’s addiction potential.
Background Pony #6048
anyone else ever dream of old friends. kinda bums me out when i wake up and realize it wasn’t real.
Background Pony #C291
Took too much Benadryl once and thought a demon was coming to claim my soul.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
@Background Pony #1552  
Diphenhydramine has anticholinergic properties which makes it a deliriant at high doses.
 
Makes them decent for sleep, but dependance can cause Parkinsons and other nerve degeneration.
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