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Vent thread


I’ve been dealing with depression and schizophrenia for about 7 years now. It seems like almost every night I get very mad at myself and just depressed. I feel like I’m nothing, like my life has accomplished nothing, and I am completely meaningless of the person. Although I know it isn’t true it’s just the repeated feeling of it that drives me insane

@icicle wicicle 1517
Some days are better than others, but sometimes I feel like I’m fighting with myself all the time. It’s like there’s two different sides of me one that wants me to be good and the other that wants to destroy me. Correction it’s like they’re a million sides of me. I don’t have visual hallucinations but I have audio ones that kind of destroy myself with steam all the time

Yeah it’s not fun.
@icicle wicicle 1517
Well I’m on medication that helps with it quite a bit, the only problem is I have weight gain problems with it. So what does my mind do? Tear me apart for being fat, and if I stop taking the medication I would lose weight but then my voices would be worse and my anxiety would take over.
Background Pony #E42B
Sorry if I was upset, but I must say that having those thoughts constantly and up to that point I find unusual. Joke aside, I’d say it’s better to calm down.
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

Reborn Reject
Just got through a hurricane, spent a few days without power. Took until now to realize that my mom’s bf has more problems than I initially thought. I want to hate him due to all the terrible stuff he has done, but I also want to at least be his friend from all the good things he has done. Helped our family when we were poor, but is manipulative and abusive to everybody he meets, including myself and my mom and my brothers. Thing is, there was a time in our life when we had it rough and we needed somebody like him to help us survive by any means necessary. I mean, heck, there were times when I sacrificed eating for days so others could eat because we simply didn’t have the resources to be stable. We were financially screwed and damn near homeless. Thing is, he has always been a jealous individual and very envious, maybe even selfish. Ever since his accident, however, I think he just begun to lose his mind at a slow drip pace. Now, he lost his kid because his kid doesn’t have a conscience and would rather hang out with dope dealers than his pops. So, as much as I really want to strangle him, I simply cannot because why make his life worse, even though he is already trying to find a way to take all of our money and spend it on things we don’t need? See, he always threatens my brother and me with physical violence and manipulates and gaslights my mom, but at the same time, I get why he is bitter. I just don’t think it is fair to take it out on us because his life is bad. He is now selfish and does dumb things that could get us into trouble, such as stealing a generator worth more than a thousand dollars, used, all because we lost power for a day. That is grand theft and me and my mom are not about to take the fall for that. I’d have to say my mom’s boyfriend stole it, which he did. I get having to steal if you have no choice, but we didn’t need to steal, as we would have been fine for a night. Think the guy has given up, to be honest. I still think he’s a maggot.
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Equality - In our state, we do not stand out.

Shine On U Crazy Diamond
I think it’s time to get myself a new phone. I didn’t want to do it, But I can’t ignore the problems I have with it right now since it’s staring me right in the face and it’s just bothering the crap out of me. What was supposed to be a screen replacement and nothing else, turned out to give me more problems.
As a result, i don’t get any more vibration on my phone, the front camera has this weird bright blue effect, which is basically unusable. And when i dropped it again just a few weeks ago (Not even on the front) The bottom of the screen got all messed up. So number one, I’m never going back to that place again, and two. I can’t use my phone without feeling disgusted and irritated. So i might as well just get a new one all together. It’s gonna cost me a pretty penny, but at least I’ll feel way better than i am.
Front camera
Bottom screen
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Artist -

I know my art is horrible and I’ll never become a successful animator or sculptor.
But at least the process brings some joy into my life.
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