Stupid stuff that comes to mind that we want to post

I made salt & vinager fish!
 
It was okay.

@Dragonpone  
butts!

ಠ_ಠ

I wanna find whoever invented cardio workouts and punch him the dick.

if i could swap any one body part for another body part of my choice, i would swap the middle finger of my left hand for a penis and then fight crime.
 
i would be known as “finger dicking good”

@DanielTepesKraus  
Getting punched by a dick would certainly leave an impression. Though if you punch someone with a dick would it hurt as much as getting punched in the dick in return?

@Solitude  
Depends on how strong the force of the dick-punch was.

Is there any negative effect of my death at this point?(edge warning)
 
 
My answer is yes and will stay that because I have NO reason to continue living if i fuck everything up and I only care for myself like the selfish retard that I am.

@Conflik9929  
I’m sure that most people are tired of living. Just not all of them are willing to admit it yet :3

@DanielTepesKraus  
Hot.

@Conflik9929  

 
Are you by any chance familiar with the English poet John Donne? He made a fairly famous comment I think is applicable here.  

Donne saw mankind as a greater whole, of which each individual was a significant part. Subsequently, the death of any one member was a cause to mourn, because we all are a little diminished at the loss. You might not necessarily agree with this view of course, but the point I’m trying to make is that there is a negative effect. A world without you is a world devoid of any of the contributions you make or may yet have time to make.
 
You still have time to make a difference. We all do. I implore you to never lose sight of that possibility.

…Why ARE shorts so comfy and easy to wear?

@Background Pony #8243  
What fucking contributions whoud i even make? If anything, I’m more of a hinderance to humanity than help

@Solitude  
it takes a true hero to punch a man with his dick and then declare “GAG ON JUSTICE”.

@Conflik9929  

Perhaps you are, but it’s far more likely you aren’t. Besides, I’ve never been the type to believe anyone is entirely without worth or merit without sufficient evidence to the contrary. The thing is, even if you are hard pressed to imagine making any major contribution, major contributions are not all that there are to make. There are innumerable small ways we all affect each other’s lives, and sometimes even the simplest thing on your part can have major significance to someone else.
 
Still, if I’m wrong and there is absolutely nothing you have or want to offer society as a whole, there are always the words of one of my favorite demotivational posters to live by:  

@DanielTepesKraus  

I feel like there’s a “hard on crime” joke waiting in there somewhere…

There’s no acid in your stomach.
 
If there was, it’d burn a hole right through your belly.

a fart is simply gaseous poo that misses being inside a nice warm cozy body and tries to come back in through the nose.

@DanielTepesKraus  
A ghost poop, if you will?

prostitutes with big bums should be called buttlers. unless they are cross-bred with potatos, in which case they are calle prostitatos.
 
@Herrpface  
yes. a lonely ghost poop that just wants to come home to daddy.

Flavored lube is stupid.  
So is scented lube.
 
^{_{My butt smells like strawberries right now.}}

@SquiggyBomb  
would you prefer living lube?  

@DanielTepesKraus  
No. I really wouldn’t.

@SquiggyBomb  
even if it had a living condom to be friends with?  

@DanielTepesKraus  
I may be a kinky whore but even I have my limits.