Stupid stuff that comes to mind that we want to post

Is it safe to have a glass of wine after a heavy workout?

@SquiggyBomb
alcohol decreases protein synthesis, which reduces the effectiveness of your workout.

@DanielTepesKraus
Fuck.
Guess I'll save it for Friday then.

if god didn't approve of gay anal sex he wouldn't have put a g-spot in my ass.

@DanielTepesKraus
HURRAH FOR THE PROSTATE MASSAGER!

so spike is the only dragon to lack wings…

and spike is the only dragon to have those cheek fin things…

my conclusion? why did they put spike's wings on his face?

@DanielTepesKraus

More importantly, why didn't the ponies use their magic to defend themselves when they were threatened? One of them is an alicorn princess and together they've helped save the world several times, which would include the dragons they were so intimidated by.

And for that matter, if the dragon lord was summoning all the dragons, how come we didn't see any full-grown dragons like we saw before? Also, could the now ex-dragon lord take an Ursa Major?

@DanielTepesKraus
I've always like the idea that Spike is supposed to be more in line with an Asian dragon than a European one.

@archestereo
these are the same ponies who were afraid of a yak invasion, despite the fact that episode would end like this:


@SquiggyBomb
i choose to believe he uses his cheek fins to fly like a hummingbird.

@DanielTepesKraus
That would be goofy as sin.

@DanielTepesKraus

…funny how they seem to choose to almost never let what is allegedly the most powerful pony in Equestria actually demonstrate as much and instead often use her as the worf.

@archestereo

Celestia isn't a major character and there's no particular reason to show her fighting anyone.

Hell, Twilight never really fights anyone, to the point that they ass-pulled this as an excuse for why Starlight was able to knock her around.

It would be incredibly boring because all a unicorn does to fight is float in one spot and shoot lasers like a turret.

@Lucky Shot
celestia is an alicorn…

@DanielTepesKraus

Yeah, and the two more important ones (Twilight & Cadance) never really fight anybody either. Why should the old geezers? It isn't their time anymore.

@Lucky Shot
"never really fight anybody"

@DanielTepesKraus

Thanks for pointing out massive show plotholes that I've mentioned in the past.

According to the show, none of those fights ever happened, since the entire reason Twilight got her ass kicked by Starlight was that she had no fighting experience.

And besides.

Standing in one spot and belching lasers isn't a fight.

@Lucky Shot
maybe so, but she fights all the time. she's not good at it, but she still does it all the time.

@DanielTepesKraus

But that's not the point. The point is that Celestia and Luna aren't foreground players in modern events, so they don't do any personal fighting.

They're also cruxes of Equestria, sort of like how the Mushroom Kingdom instantly falls apart the moment Peach is missing, so they can't put themselves in any kind of risk.

@Lucky Shot

…and yet they're captured just about as often.

@Lucky Shot
…but it was my point.

thing about that is equestria kind of is a constantly falling apart shithole full of monsters, evil beasts, enemy nations, you name it. the mane six are the ones who are carrying that country, not the princesses.

@archestereo

Peach is captured so much she readies tea for the occasion. I don't think the ponies are at that point just yet.

@DanielTepesKraus

It's pretty clear that the monsters of the week all over Equestria are accepted as minor annoyances of daily life and not as a major threat to the nation. Ponyville alone receives a moderate threat like a bugbear often enough for Octavia to just roll her eyes and deal with it.

But the Elements of Harmony only protect Ponyville 90% of the time. So what's that say about other, larger cities?

The only reason Ponyville needs the Elements' personal protection is because it lacks the military or police force of a larger or headquarters city like Cloudsdale, Manehattan, or Canterlot. Even without Twilight, the unawakened Elements were shouldering the exact same problems of Ponyville, because they were all able-bodied.

But who's responsible for overseeing the military's staffing and protocol, the system of laws to protect against mundane threats like pony criminals, the civil requirements of food, water, engineering, fire safety, and the elaborate grand strategy that allowed the modern Elements of Harmony to exist in the first place and (until the Cutie Map) directed and commanded them in defending the nation?

The Princesses. They work in the background babysitting the nation while the young blood do all the hard fighting. And if they go missing, the nation goes into a panic if nothing else.

@Lucky Shot
thing is, though, if monsters of the weak are accepted as a "minor annoyance" then the princesses are doing a shit job of running things.

as for the rest of ponyville, remember that entire regions like azooiwhatever's "kingdom" and starlight's village operate completely independant of celestia's rule (where the people suffer greatly), and towns like appleoosa and… dodge junction is it? (the one where troubleshoes is) have to survive off of mob justice and militia forces.

how the hell does the "slow digestion over 1000 years" thing work in star wars

even if the beast gave it's prey food, water, and oxygen to sustain them, which is already nonsensical and unlikely as fuck…

they'd still only last 30 to 40 years anyways

@DanielTepesKraus

Pretty sure that's an in-universe urban legend started for the sole purpose of fucking with the head of whoever's being threatened with becoming sarlacc food.