Crazy Headcanons

@Background Pony #E006  

 
Luna and Celestia aren’t blood related. Blueblood is related to Celestia’s side of the family.
 
Rarity is adopted and Sweetie Belle is actually her daughter from a teen fling.
 
Scootaloo is an earth pony with vestigial wings.
 
Minuette is Time Turner’s daughter… or granddaughter.
 
Muffin got into a flying accident at a young age.
 
Ocellus was from the last batch of hatchlings before Thorax and Starlight defeated Chrysalis.
 
The Everfree forest is where Grogar died and he cursed the land.
 
Rarity ended the series as a spinster because she always put her career above romance.
 
It’s pronounced ‘leer-rah’ instead of ‘lie-rah’

Lyra plays in a a band with Majesty, Wind Whistler, Moonstone, Royal Riff and Apple Split.

@Communist Starlight  

 

Most of the little ponies are about the size of Shetland ponies, with some exceptions. A petite female like Rainbow Dash might weigh 200 pounds. A big stallion like Big Mac might be around 400, 450.
 
Celestia is the size of an Arabian horse–a petite Arabian mare. She’d weigh around 800 pounds, if not for the extra musculature and bones for the wings. She weighs around 1000. Which is still, by domesticated horse standards, smol and adorable–big European draft horse stallions can get up well past three thousand pounds. Luna and Cadence only weigh around 600.
 

||Like stereotypical American teens, most mares gets in a “married by accident” moment, getting pregnant first and then married ||

For ponies, both attraction and arousal have significant pheromonal components. They can understand, intellectually, finding someone physically attracted, or being attracted to someone’s personality, or a feeling of affection that does not include sexual desire–but that’s not the way they’re wired. Humans in Equestria are not going to be hooking up with the locals. We smell wrong.

Ponyland (not yet called Equestria of course) during the G3 era was an autocratic constitutional monarchy, similar to the Russian Empire, in which the unicorns were the ruling class following the Unicornist Revolution in Ponyland in XX03. The national anthem was the Unicorn suite from Weird Al’s Carnival of the Animals.

@Background Pony #E006  

 
I apply this to all sapient species in Equestria’s world in my headcanon.

@Background Pony #E006  
If ponies aren’t attracted to ponified humans does that make Sandbar and Yona furries? They are different species.

@Brass Beau
 
Xenophilia/interspecies relationships are a thing in sci-fi and fantasy.

@Random-Rambling  
True, but based on the idea that the average pony would inherently find ponified humans unattractive, what does that make a creature that does find another species attractive?

Some ponies have a black hole, cylindrical in geometry, rotating about its long axis at just under the speed of light, concealed in their horns. They are the only ones who can cast time travel spells or use really powerful telekinesis–because they are using not just telekinesis but also relativistic frame dragging to move massive objects.
 
Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, Starswirl the Bearded, and a few others, aren’t unicorns at all. They’re Timelords, with horns that conceal a miniaturized TARDIS.

The whole series is just one of the karts in Infinity Train

@Background Pony #E006  
Littlepip and Doctor Whooves as well. Pip’s is shaped differently, though.
 
@Background Pony #CBBA  
Really, though, what isn’t if you think about it?

@Wiimeiser  
The Gödel Car, defined by the fact that it is not part of the Infinity Train.

Much like real life, crossbreeding between ponies and zebras or donkeys leads to an infertile half-breed. As such, there are no zebra or donkey with horns or wings.

@Background Human  

 
I see what you did there.

When Rarity discovered the Sixth Doctor’s coat in the TARDIS wardrobe, her shriek resonated through half the TARDIS.

@Korora  
She wasn’t terribly enthusiastic about the Fourth Doctor’s outfit either.

@Background Pony #E006  
I wonder how she’d react to the bowtie and fez.

@Brass Beau  
They’d be the Worst! Possible! Thing!

Twilight Sparkle has a raging case of PTSD from her “adventures” as the nominal leader of a talking-pony magical-girl SWAT team that answers directly to a head of state. What we see in the cartoon has been cleaned up considerably for the intended audience. She has seen some SHIT and has a bit of a drinking problem.

Here, have some 4chan style(tm) second-person greentext.  
—–  
>be in a sleazy dive bar in Fayettenam  
>there’s one of those ponies  
>hmm, she’s got a horn and wings? usually you see one or the other, if either, never both  
>she’s little and purple with a pink stripe in her mane  
>you’re drinking with a bunch of your buddies, all of you just rotated back from another tour in the ‘Stan  
>it was during your fourth combat tour that the portals appeared and talking pastel ponies began visiting Earth  
>most of the ponies are absolutely adorable  
>so’s this one  
>but you don’t normally see them drinking alone in a bar  
>and when you sit beside her, she looks at you  
>you can see in her eyes, she’s seen some serious shit  
>you buy her a shot of Jeremiah Weed and ask her if she wants to talk about it  
>apparently one of her country’s rulers had asked her to head what sounded like some kind of reserve military unit–civilians with day jobs, but who could be called up  
>sort of a talking-pony magical-girl SWAT team  
>”I wanted a mission, and for my sins they gave me one. And when it was over, I would never want another.”  
>an hour later her face is flushed, and tears are running down her face  
>”‘Never get out of the airship.’ Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin’ all the way. Sombra got off the airship. He split from the whole fuckin’ program.”  
>she’s surrounded by a semicircle of hardcore Airborne guys, every one of whom has multiple tours in Iraq and the ‘Stan at the sharp end under his belt  
>entire bar is utterly silent  
>cute little talking pony has seen some SHIT  
>”No wonder Sombra put a weed up Celestia’s ass. The war was being run by a bunch of four star clowns who were gonna end up giving the whole circus away!”

Earth pony magic is an internal energy source that can be directed outwards through their hooves when they make physical contact.

@Brass Beau  
Earth Ponies can use magic on anything they can touch with their hooves. Pinkie Pie likes to stand on the ceiling. This was startling for a while, until everyone just started to shrug and say “well, that’s Pinkie being Pinkie.” You should have seen the look on Twilight Sparkle’s face when she saw Applejack standing on the ceiling with her.