@PonyPon
 
What was it they taught you? And did the justify it with some sort of rational?

@Trickquestion
 
I’m going with the law of attraction here. And if I end up kicked in the face, In the balls, Anywhere, I’ll recover from it! I wonder what would happen if I gave a gift to a bully? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAPPEN! But it wouldn’t be bullying, That’s for sure! In the past I did once want to hit my Father over the head with a glass yogurt bottle to hurt him, Does that sound nice to you? It doesn’t to me, And that’s from resisting what he was saying to me as I’ve known him to be negative. Resisting his talk made it stronger and only by not resisting but letting it hit me on one cheek and the other did it become weaker,. I don’t know how it’s that way, But it is. Maybe part of it has to do with me realizing “I can withstand it.”
 
Oh and I link this here because it explains a lot. There’s a book and a documentary, I’m using its methods and now I’m not even fearing Mudhoney songs which I was freaked out about months ago.
 
www.thesecret.tv

@Zincy  
Parent.
 
Got to fight to keep it together every day.

@PonyPon
 
Was it your parents that taught you that, or was it learned from your environment?

@Background Pony #6A0A  
Really? because I think I’ve lost that, too.
 
I am a jellyfish od’ing on muscle relaxant in both body and mind, people.

It’s true what is said in the comments, the only way to fight bullies is to stand your ground. Sure, you might not win all the battles, you just need to fight hard enough that the effort of bullying you becomes to much of a chore to be bottered with.
 
The best way to do this is to use violence, unfortunally. The best thing is the bully rarely expect you to fight back, so use the element of surprise to your advantage to deal a big of a blow as possible.
 
Also this will finally atract the attention of the stupid numbskull teachers. Bullying and harrassment leads fucking nowhere, kicking someone down a stair so they almost break their leg, that’s another story. That the school can’t ignore and they’re forced to take meassures, sure you might in the shortrun getting the end of the stick, but the teacher must be incredibly thick not to realize that in the long run it’s just a matter of time before you lash out again if the bullying doesn’t stop and thus be forced to deal with it, so in the long run you will get results.
 
Tl;dr: Fight back and fight back hard without restraints. Though don’t be a cunt like babs and lash out on innocents, do it against thoose who actually bully you

@PonyPon  
In a way that’s actually pretty great. Hurting people is awful and violence truly does suck. What’s important is the motivation. What is important is that when you finally do act it’s because you know it’s truly the best course of action and you truly feel it’s right.
 
I mean, look at the US. We wouldn’t exist at all without the revolutionary war and we wouldn’t exist as we do without the civil one. However, look at how many quagmires we have been since then.
 
Of course, personal self defense isn’t the same thing as foreign politics or war but it’s an analogy. There are times when you know you are being mistreated and you clearly see you need to stand for your own (or maybe even another’s or another group’s) dignity and there are times when it’s better just to walk away.
 
The problem is we want a ready made answer to every problem. A sure fire “this always works” solution. Such a thing doesn’t exist.
 
We have to cultivate empathy, intelligence, wit, and veracity to deal with our problems. We seem to train, now-a-days for nothing other than hoping that the system will solve our problems for us.
 
No, we have to be intelligent, strong, and courageous. We have to cultivate and defend our dignity and what is good within us. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. You are entitled to the space in which you stand and the dignity that comes with your sapience. You have the right to stand up for what is right.

@Zincy
 
Many spelling mistakes.
 
Trying to type with a book in my lap, a note pad in one hand, and a pencil in the other.

@PonyPon
 
I was raised by two ex-navy, yankees of a mix of German, Scottish, and a little bit of Norse. Fighting’s in our blood, and I was raised one a philosophy of “pay in kind”. If it was necessary, I was taught to meet force with force.
 
Course I was also taught control. Never escalate, only meet a situation with an equivalent response.

@Background Pony #6A0A  
Well, I had those urges trained out of me rather effectively.
 
It’s gotten to a point where I simply lack the constitution to harm anyone, be it myself or someone sorely in need of a beating.
 
It’s like I’m a dog and my childhood was spent building one of those invisible fences.

@Zincy  
Meh, I was much more content with just taking it like a bitch then getting in a fight over it and I don’t really regret it. That’s just me, though I obviously wouldn’t give that as advice to anyone.

@PonyPon
 
Which way? You mean to defend yourself?
 
In all honesty it’s kind of sad that such a natural impulse is discouraged. To an extent you have to fit into society and work in it’s boundraries but if you’re too afraid to ever stand up for yourself or what you know is right “and damn the consequences” then injustice will always ALWAYS be tolerated. Encouraging complete passivity and reliance on the efficacy of systems is a pretty disastrous philosophy in my estimation.
 
Oh, and I wasn’t necessarily raised that way. My mom though fighting=bad and my dad was like “kick their fucking asses. Get a brick if you have to!”

@Background Pony #2418
 
At that point you were fucked anyway. You either sit there and take it, or try and do something.
 
Also, that’s why you fight dirty. I probably wasn’t strong enough to take that guy on my own, but that cement wall sure as hell was. Use your surroundings, fight smart.

@Zincy  
But if you get the shit kicked out of you, it won’t show them you’re not to be messed with, it will show them how easy you are to mess with and that you couldn’t fight back if you tried.

@Background Pony #6A0A  
I sincerely wish I was raised that way.

@Trickquestion
 
I adopted the Ender way of dealing with it. Make sure the first fight wins all successive fights.
 
Even if you lose, show them you’re not to be messed with.

@Trickquestion  
There’s a huge difference between fighting back and becoming a bully, though. Babs taking it out on the CMC because she’s bullied by others is inexcusable.

@Trickquestion
 
Yeah, the passive “tell the teacher” shit never worked for me at all. It still continued if not intensified. It was only when I took matters into my own hands that I saw results.
 
Now days that is considered wrong and maybe the inner mechanisms of the system have changed to make it more effective towards discouraging bullying but at some point in your life you just have to get your hands dirty and say “I’m a human being and I’m not going to take this shit anymore.”

Well, you can be assertive!

Kids, it’s time for real talk. The idea of passively resisting bullies is a load of crap ultra thin skinned adults cooked up. There are people in this world mentally incapable of considering the idea that they are wrong and that they need to change their ways. Don’t make yourself even more of a target by appearing weak. Strike back.

Back in the day when I was still in grade school I got folks to stop bullying me when I put one of their faces into the way. Guy pinned me to a wall in the locker room, was able to pull away, grab the back of his head, and slam it into the wall he had original pushed me against.
 
If I remember right, it got me suspended for a week, and had some other punishments. But the little fuckers never messed with me again. Never was bothered again throughout middle and high school.
 
You don’t run into too many bullies once you’re in academia, at least not at my campus.

And the people you bully only become bullies because you bully them. Don’t make them bullies, stop bullying. It’s an endless circle that requires someone to take some personal responsibility for their actions and just not bully.

In my own life the only time bullies finally stopped picking on me was when I stood up to them.
 
I guess the conventional wisdom now days it to hope an adult will intervene. I don’t know if it works or not so I can’t say.

@BarryFromMars  
I tried that.
 
Didn’t work.
 
Should’ve become a bully.

I think it’s more like, Instead of saying “Don’t become a bully” Say “Do the opposite of Bullying; Be nice to people, Even the bullies! Because you can’t pick and choose to not be a bully and still be a bully to bullies.”
 
Actually, That would add value to a lot of people’s lives I think. Rather than resisting which would make it persist and get stronger, Face it double blast. If someone strikes me on one side, Let them strike me on the other too! I can overcome it.