@Anonshy
I know for certain that i would not be the abusive partner if a relationship turns sour(if i get lucky enough to get a relationship in the first place) also in terms of time to full commitment i know i would be a little impatient so about a year after first date would be good if the partner was up for it
I think I don’t agree with that; in my opinion, relationships need to mature and they have its own time, such as not every flower grows with the same velocity, and if two persons can already get along very well from the distance, it’s the preamble of what it could be a successful relationship. The slowness is given only by the economical possibilities that each individual has in order to meet the other person, and that’s something that, unfortunately, can take years. Nonetheless, the established feeling is the fuel to achieve the final stage.
@Minus
This. Especially the thing about don’t let sex and GFs run your life as your only goal. I honestly don’t understand why people think that as their only goal. I mean fine if it’s one of your, but only goal? Why?
As for me though, one of my live goal is to have a healthy and steady relationship and I already got it. Though I have to be honestly I still have a standard for the “perfect girlfriend” but after I got a healthy steady relationship with someone. Those standard is just as worthful as a tickets from yesterday concert. I realized that all I need is just to focus on what I needs instead of what I wants. And having steady healthy relationship is one of them. I am gonna be honest, if I got what I want like “the perfect friend” and steady relationship with her. It would be wonderful. But the chance are very very slim. So focusing on what I need is more important.
As for the someone that I have a steady and healthy relationship with. Well… The truth is that she isn’t my girlfriend, yet, she is still my best friend. There are one thing for us that need to be fulfilled before. Meeting in the real life, she basically living the exact opposite of the Earth from me. But as for now, we are fine with it, we already got what we needs. Steady and healthy relationship. Heck even we already treat ourselves as we are girlfriend and boyfriend.
@Conman17
I would advise a girl who is similar in weirdness. My ex-gf was as weird as me and she was hands down one of the most positive influences on me.
@Minus
Well as for sex and lust goes you probably negated yourself because if you are asexual the chances that second person is asexual too is slim also people are curious about having sex getting pleasured
Relationship is about compromises
Sex shouldn’t be main focus of a relationship but rather a part of it that bounds partners
@Minus
I wouldn’t say incels only have those two problems. Nany factors come into play. I have to disagree and say getting a gf is not as easy as you think. Then again I dont particularly plan on finding another one soon.
@TheDreaded
…Yeah but. That doesn’t invalidate my advice right? I mean, it’s actually been a barrier to maintaining my relationships. As in it has directly been the reason several ended. But perhaps it helped me to get them in the first place because I wasn’t so focused on just sating my lust. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up, but it does change things a bit I guess.
Was it that obvious or do you just know me? Sorry if you do, I don’t recognise your name.
Anyone can get a girlfriend. It’s incredibly easy. But these incels always have one of these two problems, or sometimes both:
Such high standards close to that of perfection, that they’re better off sticking to fictional waifus.
Or
Are such shitty people they don’t deserve to have a girlfriend.
The first step is always to just be someone worth dating, thinking about yourself for a change, and not about girls. What can you do to improve yourself? If you don’t like yourself, then why would someone else? Self-hate is something that others can sense. If you don’t like something about yourself, fix it. We’ve all seen ugly guys with girlfriends, how do they do it? They just dont hate themselves over it. It’s that simple.
Secondly wanting a girl that fits every single want you have is just stupid. You’re dooming yourself by thinking you can have it all. No-one in the world has a perfect girlfriend. No-one. So why should you? What actually matters to you? Just focus on those things, make a short list of like 5 things, and then just use that instead of your old list of 100 requirements.
I am 28, I’m a virgin, and I’ve had wonderful relationships. Ones that I got entirely without effort. They were just friends that I got on so well with that we begun dating. It was a natural progression. Incredibly stable and even after breaking up, we’re still friends. I’m an odd case for never seeking a partner and then getting several. I know this. But hopefully what I’ve said here can help you guys out. Whatever you do, don’t let sex and GFs run your life as your only goal. Cause you’re probably gonna be disappointed when you achieve them. They aren’t that amazing, even when movies like to pretend they are.
