GryphonStar5678 
"[@Background Pony #CDB1":](/images/2240648#comment_8730539
)
Going uh isn't helping me understand what wrong. Too much detail, not enough details? Are you just lost since the first part of the scene is meant to build-up to the comic strip? Once every detail has been shown off then comic strip can be found again in the blog alongside the scene in full.
Either way a lot builds up this gran event. Not just the parts I showed off in the link. Heck, this moment is practically the climax to a full season of work.
I would love far more criticism than just uh.
Bearded Dialogue Master
Going uh isn't helping me understand what wrong. Too much detail, not enough details? Are you just lost since the first part of the scene is meant to build-up to the comic strip? Once every detail has been shown off then comic strip can be found again in the blog alongside the scene in full.
Either way a lot builds up this gran event. Not just the parts I showed off in the link. Heck, this moment is practically the climax to a full season of work.
I would love far more criticism than just uh.