Chopsticks 
Rice pone
[@Brainiac](/images/3052128#comment_10495995)
> Im pretty anxious (my anxiety is out of control most of the time) the idea of giving someone else control for a while is very soothing to me and collars are cute and fashionable as well as work as sort of a symbol for being in that headspace
>
> Having someone hold the leash is also a very nice and oddly comforting feeling as I dont really like being touched to much
>
> I hope this helps
[@Valiant\_Effort](/images/3052128#comment_10496056)
> With pet play, you relinquish the stress of having control to let another make the decisions for you, it's just a theme sub-category of a willing chosen power imbalance. Make sense or is this coming off as insane ramblings?
That is *bizarre* (to me), and fascinating; I would have never guessed that in a hundred years. Anxiety related to stressors about control (which often leads to OCD behavior like maintaining things in a certain manner) usually leads to more control... but I can see how it might feel like relenting control being at ease, and as such, relief of the stressor. And thinking about it, might be a better treatment over destructive OCD behavior.
So it seems more in the category of the base survival mechanism related to shyness in a way, but relaxation as a the goal instead of fear. Shyness is avoidance and observation with wanting to be involved but fear over social survival being disrupted in mockery/failure/presentation. The shyness affirms survival by being missed, small, even avoidantly submissive (like to a bully).
But this instead seems to put faith and situational control to one who can take charge with confidence. And this can be good or bad.
.
Now **that completely changes my way of thinking** about submissive behaviors (which I formally attributed to either fear or avoiding responsibility only). Now I want to add a character in my next novel to attribute this behavior. As a writer it's my job to study human behavior, but it's useful to know for social reasons, too.
*(I don't get the fetish attachment to it still, but I can see the psychology behind the concept.)*
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[@Valiant\_Effort](/images/3052128#comment_10496056)
> [@Chopsticks](/images/3052128#comment_10495989)
> Ever been going out with a group of friends and got hungry but not know what you wanted to eat? Then everyone in the group has "no preference" You all essentially get caught in a loop that denies the reward of chemicals to your brains. Until you have a solution the chemical is denied, so one has to make a decision.
No, but that's because I'm a collective delegator. I gather suggestions from what others want, and follow a path to determine the best compromise. I make sure to usually mention what I want last, and voice what I don't want. But it is incredibly frustrating when my roommate seems to repeatedly refuse or blank out with no preferences. Took 20 minutes to dig out a response what he wanted to eat for his birthday, because once I suggest something 95% of the time he just latches on to it.
Don't understand the chemical denial either, don't know what you're describing (though I have a condition that inhibits my body's ability to benefit or produce any pleasure hormones). Do endorphins or something get released when someone makes a decision to go do something? (I can get excited if a particular choice I want is decided or I find someone is yet to try the experience and I'm eager to share.)
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[@Background Pony \#C651](/images/3052128#comment_10496243)
> [@Chopsticks](/images/3052128#comment_10495989)
> I never got to see your reply, wish I knew what it said! But I did want to add that you can have completely non-sexual pet play. I know that's an issue for you and I wanted to make sure that was clear.
Interesting, I did not know that but I shouldn't be surprised. Combined with previous 2 comments, would make sense.
> Im pretty anxious (my anxiety is out of control most of the time) the idea of giving someone else control for a while is very soothing to me and collars are cute and fashionable as well as work as sort of a symbol for being in that headspace
>
> Having someone hold the leash is also a very nice and oddly comforting feeling as I dont really like being touched to much
>
> I hope this helps
[@Valiant\_Effort](/images/3052128#comment_10496056)
> With pet play, you relinquish the stress of having control to let another make the decisions for you, it's just a theme sub-category of a willing chosen power imbalance. Make sense or is this coming off as insane ramblings?
That is *bizarre* (to me), and fascinating; I would have never guessed that in a hundred years. Anxiety related to stressors about control (which often leads to OCD behavior like maintaining things in a certain manner) usually leads to more control... but I can see how it might feel like relenting control being at ease, and as such, relief of the stressor. And thinking about it, might be a better treatment over destructive OCD behavior.
So it seems more in the category of the base survival mechanism related to shyness in a way, but relaxation as a the goal instead of fear. Shyness is avoidance and observation with wanting to be involved but fear over social survival being disrupted in mockery/failure/presentation. The shyness affirms survival by being missed, small, even avoidantly submissive (like to a bully).
But this instead seems to put faith and situational control to one who can take charge with confidence. And this can be good or bad.
.
Now **that completely changes my way of thinking** about submissive behaviors (which I formally attributed to either fear or avoiding responsibility only). Now I want to add a character in my next novel to attribute this behavior. As a writer it's my job to study human behavior, but it's useful to know for social reasons, too.
*(I don't get the fetish attachment to it still, but I can see the psychology behind the concept.)*
.
.
[@Valiant\_Effort](/images/3052128#comment_10496056)
> [@Chopsticks](/images/3052128#comment_10495989)
> Ever been going out with a group of friends and got hungry but not know what you wanted to eat? Then everyone in the group has "no preference" You all essentially get caught in a loop that denies the reward of chemicals to your brains. Until you have a solution the chemical is denied, so one has to make a decision.
No, but that's because I'm a collective delegator. I gather suggestions from what others want, and follow a path to determine the best compromise. I make sure to usually mention what I want last, and voice what I don't want. But it is incredibly frustrating when my roommate seems to repeatedly refuse or blank out with no preferences. Took 20 minutes to dig out a response what he wanted to eat for his birthday, because once I suggest something 95% of the time he just latches on to it.
Don't understand the chemical denial either, don't know what you're describing (though I have a condition that inhibits my body's ability to benefit or produce any pleasure hormones). Do endorphins or something get released when someone makes a decision to go do something? (I can get excited if a particular choice I want is decided or I find someone is yet to try the experience and I'm eager to share.)
.
.
[@Background Pony \#C651](/images/3052128#comment_10496243)
> [@Chopsticks](/images/3052128#comment_10495989)
> I never got to see your reply, wish I knew what it said! But I did want to add that you can have completely non-sexual pet play. I know that's an issue for you and I wanted to make sure that was clear.
Interesting, I did not know that but I shouldn't be surprised. Combined with previous 2 comments, would make sense.