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Champions of Equestria

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“Oh, humans don’t have books. We engrave all of our useful information on big stone slabs and put them on public display. If you want a personal copy you have to write it down yourself.”
 
This makes the hamster running in it’s wheel powering her brain speed up. “…is that what the internet is? A wall of written works? That doesn’t sound feasible nor efficient.” You can see she’s trying her hardest to imagine it.
 
“The way we write is sort of extra dimensional. Something written later can change the meaning of something earlier, or the entire structure. It takes years to understand, and each slab looks like some sort of abstract art to those who don’t understand, but a single tablet can hold a library’s worth.” With this, it’s obvious that the hamster has had a heart attack as Twilight looks with a thousand yard stare, standing like a statue. Giving it some time while the eggs finish, it’s obvious she doesn’t catch on. “…it’s a joke. Yes, we have books.”
 
Blinking a few times and mentally backtracking, it finally hits home. “…oh.” This is too fun.
 
Let’s see if she’ll catch something that isn’t about the human world. “So, you wrote to Celestia about bits?”
 
“Yes, I didn’t know what would be required for you to exist, so I said that there might be something needed later.”
 
“Do you like writing about bits?” You giggle at yourself at the subtle joke.
 
“I’ve read a lot about bits.” Oh boy, here we go. “Bit exchange, how bits function, even about bit growth.” It takes a lot to keep a straight face. “Are you interested in pony bits? I could teach you.”
 
With the cooking done, you shut off the stove and start grabbing other things to eat. “Yes Twilight, I am interested in your bits.” She probably doesn’t even catch on. “I told Applejack and Rarity that I would pay them back, maybe I could give them my bits. When you wrote Celestia, I sure hope you left ‘some of my bits’ out of mention.”
 
“…but you don’t have bits.” Unable to contain it, you start to chuckle. “What? I thought that’s what you wanted, to go out and earn some bits. There is probably somepony out there who would give you their bits if you worked hard on it.” With this, your attempt to keep it subtle is gone as you laugh out loud. “What’s so funny?” Trying to think of more ways to make her get the joke, you hear somepony yell something in the library. “Oh, I have to go now. I hope it’s not that new shipment, my bits are starting to get low… why are you laughing?” Giving you a confused look, Twilight leaves the kitchen.
 
Now that you’re settled down, you grab a muffin with a glass of lemonade and begin to chow down. Are all ponies this way? Hopefully there are those out there that can pick up humor better. Remembering that she’s still hung up on an idealistic view of peaceful cooperation between Earth and Equestria, a bad feeling stirs. Maybe if it was done right, it won’t go badly. With any luck, they can choose where a portal will pop up. Gotta pick someplace good, not North Korea or something… they would test their nukes on it. Ponies seem peaceful, so the worst that could happen is that humans open trade and the rates are too lop sided… a few religions might go crazy about more sentient races and magic, but that’s not important.
 
Noticing that you’re nearly done with breakfast, you decide to get your head back in the now. You practically have free reign to do whatever you want today. Wasn’t there some things you thought of last night before sleeping? Whatever, let’s see what you can plan…
 
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