@Background Pony #B1A5
Wow what a very deep analysis on masturbation

background pony somehow got it totally right
 
also i LOVE THIS PICTYURe

This is honestly why I never liked the idea of using the term “clopping” to indicate a date with Rosie Hooves. (Is that a character? Sounds like it’d make a good name for one. Overly friendly, always visiting the lonely ponyfolk and giving them a reason to cheer up…)
 
It’s shite as an onomatopoeia because unless you’re beating on a hunk of stone with your hoof down there (no “rock hard” jokes here, no sir) it wouldn’t make that noise, and several episodes (most obvious being Green Isn’t Your Color) show that ponies generally “clap” (which itself is onomatopoeic, indicating the sound of two hands being brought together with force) by stomping their hooves.
 
“Fap” came about as an expression of a soft brushing sound followed by a fleshy impact; shlicking (presumably meant to indicate wet and squishy goings-on) is amusingly enough more prone to producing a “fap” noise than actual fapping, and most likely came about due to moisture connotations (as “ideal” conditions equate a woman’s nethers to a rainforest in mid summer).
 
I recall a picture making fun of bronies in general which equated “clopping” to the act of clubbing oneself in the bits with a forehoof, and frankly even before I ever came across that I could never reconcile an open, cup-like “clop” sound to the act of self-pleasure, unless you’ve got some… interesting body modification going on.
 
Plus, when they do vaguely human things like clapping their forehooves, they make a very distinct “clop” noise due to the shape of the hoof (namely, the cupped indentation, or “frog”, that resides behind the curve of the hoof itself). “Clapping her hooves” just rings horribly to me– a “clap” is a fleshy, forceful smack, which is impossible to make with a pair of hooves.
 
It’s positively exasperating, both as a fan of the creative, written word, and a writer, that I have to “censor” something as simple as, say, Rarity expressing delight at Spike performing tricks for her simply because of the societal connotations of the term. Garrulity is fun, but brevity can be a virtue, and I can’t be very brief when I’m forced to replace “Rarity clopped merrily at the sight” with something roundabout like “Rarity laughed merrily at the sight, clomping her hooves against the ground” because somepony may well read the former and wonder why the opalescent dressmaker suddenly began to amorously assault her own hindquarters because Spike did a backflip from a chandelier.

stop eating spy nachos rarity

It’s easy.  
First you unhinge your jaw…

this is not suggestive at all, nope, nothing can possibly be even remotely suggestive about this.

“Put the crystal in my mouth%! Put the crystal in my mouth%!”

that is a big mouth…