I like this. :)

Is that an excerpt from something? It sounds fascinating.

What book are we talkin’ bout here?

“Speaking as a vampire, what do you make of the book’s technical merits?”  
“It made me sad.”  
“Why sad?”  
“Because Dracula had no servants.”  
“I think you missed the point of the book, Count Orlock.”  
“Dracula hasn’t had servants in four hundred years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he… that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn’t eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes… when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table.”