“🎶You-
You make me feel like I’m going crazy
So, I was hoping you could tell me maybe-
What’s going on?”
Mister: Papa, let’s play Big Words/Mean Words.
Pris: It’s funnier when it’s whispered in public, but sure.
Mister: Dimly Brownhock, the jock guy. His clothes?
Pris: Pauperising. His hair?
Mister: Unprepossessing. His voice?
Pris: Raucous. His personality?
Mister: Churlish.
Pris: Hmmmm ok. Mrs. Cheerilee. Her clothes?
Mister: Pedestrian. Her hair?
Pris: Abhorrent. Her voice?
Mister: Titilating~!
Pris: [frowns] Titillating isn’t a “mean word”
Mister: Well, I like Mrs. Cheerilee. She’s my type of lady~
Pris: A married mom of two?
Mister: Yaaaassssss mommy%%%%
Pris: Urgh. You’re disgusting.
Mister: Any day now, she’ll leave her husband for me. At least for one night~!
Pris: Yah? While we’re in La-la Land, can I lose the periods? I don’t plan on having children.
Mister: Hardy har! And no, you may not. And when you’re mommy age, you can have menopause.
Pris: Stop saying mommy, and great…the future looks bright.
Mister: I wanna get a big ol’ beer belly when I’m older. Like the wise professor kind, not the sad alcoholic type.
Pris: Brothel whore.
Mister: Apple farmer.
Pris: Below the belt, Mister.
Mister: Don’t dish what you can’t serve!
Pris snorts as Mister breaks out into his signature cackling. The two lay there and listen as Pristine’s phone plays.
“🎼So-
Wanna get some coffee?
Talk about it?
…Not particually🎶[
Pris: …Am I Asexual or are you just a hypersexual Bi stallion?
Mister: [rolls over on his stomach] I always thought it was Bisexual, but I think Pansexual suits me more! And maybe you are…maybe you just need to feel an attachment first. Like uh…Demi…sexual?
Pris: But I hate like everyone! Why do I hate everyone?
Mister: [slightly sadder tone] Bullying? …Depression…?
Pris: Oh right. God, I hope these new meds Doc prescribed work. I just wish I could be fun-loving…you know? Not so tired and…numb?
Mister: I wish that for you too, Papa.
Mister gently reaches out and grabs Pristine’s hand]
Pris: [teary-eyed] I’m such a boring shit friend Mister. Why do you even try with me? For fuck’s sake it better not be pity.
Mister: Hell no, you’re a fucking riot! And…I can be honest with you. You don’t judge me when I vent at you about annoying people or shit with magic. You’re also the only person I’ve shown my chaos form to.
Pris: Didn’t you show your ex?
Mister: Nope. Just you, my parents, and my sister. Like my bio sister, not even my half-sister!
Pris: Shit Mister.
Mister: I love you, Pristine-
Pris: Shut your face-hole.
Mister: Nyyoooooo!! You’we my best fwiend UwU
Pris: …I’m putting your cat in the oven.
Mister: NO SHE’S ALLERGIC TO EXTREME HEATS!!