@BleedingHeart  
He was a member of the Florida Panthers, but then his team sucked so much they were all turned INTO panthers. This particular member made a habit of stealing from uneventful neighborhoods. XD

@TheAbridgenator  
Wait, was the Panther a hockey player? Or was it one then the other?

@BleedingHeart  
And then, A PANTHER ATTACKED!!! I was suddenly mugged by a Florida hockey player!

It was a tepid and uneventful evening and the clouds had long parted as the spring afternoon brought a breeze from the west. Because of the clear visibility i was able to see in the far off distance the hills with just the slightest powder from the fallen snow. You’d think the air would be fresh, but the farmers in the next town over had started to manure their fields compounded with every car driving home or heading off towards their late shifts. Makes sense why living next to road in an heavy traffic environment would make most apartments rent controllable. The birds still lingering around, crapping on all the just washed cars of anyone dumb enough to park under a telephone line. The neighborhood kids or at least the ones too poor for an internet connection ran around with their rodent faced mutts as they yapped at the pedestrians as they walked by.

 
“It was a cold and snowy day…”

@TheAbridgenator  
“with it flashing itself, it was flashing, the night was flashing, it even mooned me. It was obvious, it wanted something from me^, and I knew the the answer. It’s sex time”

@Shaky  
“I wanted to have sex with the night.”

The night was sultry.

@Get pills, against my orders  
I was going to, but I was pretty sure this line predated Peanuts. XD

Should this be tagged with Peanuts/Snoopy?

I was going to make a Snoopy comment, but OP already did it for me. {sigh}