Business Kicks~!!

Kassaz commissioned this silly little comic and wrote this silly little story to go along with it:

“Well gentlecolts, I’m pleased to tell you the restructuring has successfully improved the financial health of this business, primarily by reducing costs. All of this without any ponies fired, of course.” Ms. Harshwhinny’s speech was off the cuff, but she was nevertheless scanning over a document with the details as she spoke to the board. The stallions of the board applauded her speech by drumming their hooves against the boardroom table; she sat in an office chair before them. She waited for the praise to die down before continuing.

“We once again thank you for contracting with “Harshwhinny and Son Consulting” and we look forward to continuing our work with you.” She couldn’t help but glance down at the giant buldge sitting between her legs. She had yet to find the time to change the name to “Harshwhinny and Sons Consulting” while ever busy, but the time for both that and a restructuring was coming soon. Her darling little business partners had been sleeping straight through the meeting, which was a relief.

She once again put off the idea of when her consulting firm would really be going public, an event she wouldn’t be able to reschedule for once. She almost started daydreaming again, about them wearing their business suits and herself watching them giving the presentations in her stead; she wanted to close her eyes and smile at the thought, but she had to stay professional. She continued. “There’s still plenty of work to be done, however,” she kept her right hoof resting on top of her constituents, rubbing out any issues that could arise as they shifted. She could swear sometimes it was as if they were shifting and competing for the title of “first son” and so on.

She paused for a moment as she felt one of her minority stakeholders striking against her, against her poor bladder in particular. She squirmed in her seat, the five ponies of the board watching her; it was very unprofessional. Still, relief didn’t come; he seemed insistent on raising a complaint with his supervisor. She had always been perfect when it came to preparing for business matters, by making certain her mane were smooth and by taking bathroom breaks beforehoof, so she silently cursed how emptying her bladder never seemed to stop them from bringing back that horrible sensation ahead of schedule; still, she couldn’t just get up and leave, it would be embarrassing on top of unprofessional, so she tried to continue.

She coughed in an attempt to mask a grunt as she squirmed in her seat slightly. “That work is,” she felt a particularly hard blow from one of her darling little workers, and then another, “that profit should be reinvested into the ailing departments, such as to the deliverymares who form the spine of this business.” As she ran that sentence through her head again, she realized it made less sense; she was losing her concentration. She felt yet another blow; it was as if they were organizing a strike against cramped working spaces. Her eyes quickly scanned across the faces of the board, and she noticed some were looking at her, but not directly. She glanced down, and realized two of those blows were still visible: The outlines of two little hooves pressed against her skin, almost as if they were waving for attention. Harshwhinny hated when ponies stared at her pregnancy, but she couldn’t help it here.

“T-The deliverymares h-have submitted some anonymous complaints t-to me in the past weeks, s-some of which I’d like to share with you, i-in brief.” She’d be a different kind of deliverymare soon enough. “U-Um, the first and most pressing complaint is the delivery route to M-Manehatten, which they tell me has been subpar for years.” The kicking continued, and she couldn’t help but close her eyes as she continued. “T-They tell me the route could be adjusted to take Cloudsdale’s journey into consideration, w-where a-applicable, which would make it much easier for them to take breaks a-along t-the w-way.”

“T-The, um, the second matter, that is the c-complaint is, ah, t-to” Harshwhinny stopped and opened her eyes when one of the stallions interrupted her. He needed to take a bathroom break? How convenient! She’d also take one.

After rocking herself out of her seat, she made a straight waddle for the lady’s room. Frustratingly, she didn’t need to use the toilet once she made it there, but she tried. Soon enough, she was back in front of the board, standing this time, and ended her speech with ten minutes set aside for questions. Her hoof once again rested over her darling little interns as she answered everything without any problems. Five minutes later, she was confident nothing else would disturb her. Then she felt another little movement, and that horrible sensation had returned.