It’s been about a week since you passed away. Really, I still haven’t come to terms with it. I am your son, you are my mother. That alone is reason enough to feel the way I do - I can’t even cry I’m so overwhelmed with emotions. I’ve practically gone numb. You raised me from a little girl to the budding young man I’ve become today. I lived with you from the day I was born right up until this year. We moved from place to place, but you finally found a home with John, a beautiful home, even if it was far away. I hadn’t seen you much since I moved out this year but I’m happy that the time I did spend with you was nice, and I hope so much that you know how much I love you. I know I haven’t been a very good kid growing up, I’ve caused you a lot of stress, but I just hope - and I’m sure - you passed knowing how much I loved you in life and in death. I know that wherever you are, you’re watching over me and helping me become a better man. I know that’s what you would want from me. You always just wanted me to grow up happy and safe, and even though I definitely have a lot of problems up in my head, I know you’re there helping me and shouldering them with me, helping to ease the pressure off of my back.  
You would be the first person to say you probably weren’t the best person to raise me in the first place, but despite that, despite everything really, I defended you endlessly against everything anyone would say negative about you whether it was right or not. I couldn’t ask for a better person to call my mother. You are and were a blessing, not only to me, but to everybody you knew, everybody you touched. Because if you would’ve raised me perfectly, I wouldn’t be the caring person I am today. I wouldn’t love so fiercely the way you always did, even if you didn’t show it. You always kept your feelings inside, but I know you loved your family, every member of it, and I know you loved me. John gave me some of your jewellery to remember you by - one of them was an amethyst-looking stone. I put it on my choker that I wear every day so I’ll always have something of yours with me wherever I go, something I can draw strength from.  
I love you a lot, mom. I love you, and I love John, and Bailey and Zoey. We all miss you so much. It was so hard to wake up the day after your service and realise you weren’t coming in my room to wake me. Me, John, the dogs, and your entire family adore you to pieces. If there’s one thing I can be happy about, I’m just happy to know that now you’re always with me. You’re always going to be there for me. And more than that, I know you’re not in pain anymore. I never liked seeing you crying or in pain, and now, at least, you needn’t ever cry again. We’re staying strong for you. That’s what you’d want us to do.  
Rest in peace, mom. I love you.
 
A memorial piece to be hung up as tribute to my now passed mother.  
R.I.P. 3/6/74 - 11/16/15