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Champions of Equestria

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lasty
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

dead to you
(civil war-style flute and drum music plays)  
My dearest Adagio,
 
It has been three score and four minutes since Pinkie Pie and I began this staring contest. This damnable contest. I am weary, but do all within my power to keep this fact from the enemy. My eyes burn like unto the very flames of Perdition, but I see no sign that my pain is also hers. I have begun to fear that all may be lost and that my strength, even the strength your support and love provides, my dearest, will prove inadequate in the face of such a will. If I should fail, know that no matter how many hogshead of my finely-crafted fruit punch you consumed and insulted, I have always cherished you. And know that, as I watch my enemy drink the Coke that serves as the stakes of our duel, I shall do so with defiance and sincere hope that it go down the wrong throat-hole. And tell Aria to stay out of my room! I counted those pennies in the ceramic duck before I left!
 
I miss you terribly, Adagio. The way you smile and intimidate Aria and throw batteries unto my nose. These recollections are the warmth that allows me to endure the cold winter nights that this pleasant spring afternoon will become, should this contest go on long enough. I find myself wondering, if I were to ask for your hand in marriage upon my return to the civilized world, would you accept? Or would you simply ask why I speak this way now and demand I cease? Would that I could, dear Adagio. Would that I could.
 
Yours,  
Capt. Sonata Oldtimerson Dusk esq.  
PS-What does ‘esq.’ mean? Is there supposed to be a U at the end?

 
Adagio: …“oldtimerson”?