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This was hard to draw
 
Unwillingly and forced into flying away from my husband by January 9th to the other half of the planet. There are many small details I can’t really say that are just making it even worse.  
I can’t describe how much this hurts. It’s getting really difficult to ignore the “I’m not good enough to bother” and the “It’s my fault I can’t learn fast enough and am costing my family 2k” thoughts.  
I’m really trying to fight those thoughts but it’s heavily starting to take over.
 
I’m scared, I’ve never flown on my own either. Doesn’t exactly make me want to cheer on the new year, it’s just honestly making me feel sick.  
I guess this is technically part of IRL Austria Tales (Visual Diary) So I’ve added it to that folder.

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TioTheBeetle
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

*Wild-dog Squeak
@redweasel  
Hey, I only happened to notice this comment now!  
Man thankyou… I may be able to come back soon but I’m still stuck in Canada at the moment :C  
Of all things we managed to find a German-language adult school where I live at the moment so hopefully, this will all be over soon. I’m mostly waiting on passport and ID changes so we are slowly getting there!
 
I wish I’d read this earlier, it just warms my heart. Thankyouuuu! I’m feeling a bit better about the whole ordeal but peoples comments on this have really helped
redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
before agreeing with those thoughts, try to think about if anyone else in the world is just as bad and slow at learning as you. of all those people, is every one of them getting forced to board a plane and fly away from those they love? is there anyone who can’t learn fast enough, and isn’t good enough, who is not being punished for it like you are?
 
there’s no shame in failing, if you’re being held to a double standard. it still sucks and you deserve to be sad about it, but you don’t have to blame yourself. I don’t know you other than by your beautiful art, but I’m willing to wager that you’re a wonderful person who is capable of amazing things, and people are wrong to say that you failed, and punish you. they’re only doing it because they’re troubled people, who think they have to hurt others in order to be safe, not because there is anything wrong with you.
Background Pony #A029
This feels like the end of 2017 in a nutshell… too drained to celebrate, and only the faint hope that 2018 will somehow fill the emotional void the previous year created.
 
I hope your situation gets better.