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Scootaloo. Because Rarity said something about Rainbow Dash being ‘in the closet’, and Sweetie repeated it.
 
The skulls of the previous incarnations of Spike.
 
All the villains who have yet to make a return appearance; all of them tied up and begging for more.
 
Zuul.
 
Precisely one-hundred and sixteen pounds of Grade A meth. Dealing or using? Who can say?
 
The entire Limp Bizkit discography.
 
El Dorado.
 
Several unreleased versions of Duke Nukem Forever; the reason it took so long to make was she kept stealing all the prototypes and wiping the data out of sick amusement.
 
Conclusive evidence that she shot JFK, Tupac, Brandon Lee, ‘The Sheriff’ from the Bob Marley song, and somehow, Billy the Kid.
 
The Holy Grail, the Ark of the Covenant, the Spear of Longinus, Excalibur, and all those copies of the ET game that were supposedly buried in the desert. All melted down, or otherwise re-purposed as parts of an unfinished statue of Applejack’s flank.
 
A manilla folder labeled, “How to Sacrifice Sweetie Belle to summon The Smooze and Destroy All Those Whom Are Less Fabulous Than I”. The folder contains the script to Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure, a copy of John Dies At The End, a selection of choice clop materials, and a used lottery ‘scratch-off’ that won eight bits, but has yet to be redeemed for it’s prize.
 
Kel Mitchell’s career.
 
Mel Brook’s History of the World, Parts 2 through 6.
 
A curtain, behind which stands a dried up corpse, holding a black egg. A cat hatches from this egg, and then screams, in morse code, with the voice of a man. Decoded, the cat tells of both how to achieve immortality, and the end of all sentient life. Witnessing this event will either kill you, drive you insane, or make you a Holder. And you’d better make sure they don’t come together.
 
It is empty, but even the most accurate measuring imaginable will indicate that the closet is 1/16th of an inch longer than it could possibly be, given the dimensions of her home.
 
The end of this comment.
 
The recipes for both Coca-Cola, and Juicyfruit gum.
 
The most delicious burrito ever known to the world. Paradoxically, is has never had a bite taken out of it.
 
A portal to an alternate universe where Mitch Hedberg, and Freddie Mercury are still alive; Mission Hill, Nightmare Ned, Rocko’s Modern Life, and Megas XLR still have episodes made; and your favorite ship is canon. Sunset Shimmer will eventually enter this portal and attempt to use the properties of this world to conquer Equestria…somehow.
 
The lab she used to not only create all other forms of life currently present on Equestria, but also the device she used to exterminate all forms of life that lived there before.
 
Derpy’s original voice.
 
Assorted cereal-flavored chapsticks, and chapstick-flavored cereals.
 
A bunch of really obvious ‘bondage equipment’ jokes.
 
Palmer from Titan Maximum’s fist! /kicks you in the groin/.
 
The CMC’s cutie marks.
 
All the bags of fat from all her liposuctions.  
Wait, no, that one was messed up. I apologize.  
It should read, “lipo-buck-tions”.