““When I take a deep breath and the smoke fills me inside, I’m relieved because I can finally feel something again. I’m not dead yet. I’m still here. Empty, alone, silent, but alive.[](https://www.fimfiction.net/story/431666/star-overhead)
sad thing is nicotine takes away that feeling, then when it temporarily returns it, you feel like the drug is what gave you the feeling rather than taking it away.