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Ah, the good Marquis… a brilliant mind, in some ways. It is a shame that he and Lord Breeches are so overlooked; despite one of the latter’s many-times grandsons still having such an important position in Canterlot! I wonder if the boy shares any of his progenitor’s particular interests…
I may have had the pleasure if visiting the clubs of which you speak. Time-traveling makes so many things easier! Yes, they exist. Most of the young uns who participate are Earth Ponies; after all, everypony knows they can take almost ridiculous amounts of punishment and come back asking for more. I know from experience - I’ve faced their knights in battle. I’ve never heard of them getting tricked into the shows, and they do seem to enjoy it thoroughly!
Although… there are methods that would ensure they would, no matter their personal proclivities. Spells and potions, mixed together, and…
No, that’s absurd! Nopony would do that! They would need a lot of time to cast the necessary enchantments. They’d need to hide them from their families, and that just wouldn’t work.
…Unless they use orphans…
Still, I refuse to believe anypony would stoop to that! Nevermind the danger of the spells settling in too deep and becoming permanent! Nopony would risk such a thing.
Hmmm…Glamorous Breeches. His controversial works (along with those of the infamous Marquis de Saddle) are typically not available in public libraries but can be found in more esoteric bookshops.
There’s undeniable truth to what you say. Ponies of all races and social standing seem to bemoan the necessity of judical corporal punishment…
“Isn’t it terrible!”
“That poor pony.”
“Celestia ought to outlaw such cruel punishments!”
…yet when a public spanking is carried out, hundreds of ponies still show up to watch. They can’t all be supportive friends & family of the unfortunate convict…lots of Equestrian citizens are certainly getting a vicarious thrill out of seeing a weeping pony led out and tied to the whipping post to suffer their court-ordered punishment. When multiple ponies face spankings on the same day grandstands often have to be constructed to accommodate the crowd!
There are rumors that underground social clubs exist in the larger cities, like Manehattan, Fillydelphia & even Canterlot. Here wealthy ponies (mostly Unicorns) can sip champagne and watch shows where attractive young fillies & colts are bent over and spanked with varying severity.
While these shows are ostensibly legal since the ponies being beaten volunteer & are paid, there are accustations that some of the colts & fillies are tricked into accepting the job. Many arrive in the city (some having run away from home) with dreams of making it big & living the cosmopolitan life. They quickly discover the harsh reality…homeless & hungry they are easy pickings for the club managers who offer food, a few bits and a warm place to sleep “If you’ll just appear in a little show.”
You wouldn’t happen to be a member of such social clubs, would you Starswirl?
Bias? Hmpf, more like the right pony for the right job!
I’ll admit that there’s something… exciting about seeing an Earth Pony have her strong, taut behind whipped. I know that a lot of very distinguished Unicorns share this sentiment, though they’d never admit to it in public. Have you ever read some of Lord Glamorous Breeches’ works? He postulates that Earth Ponies need regular spankings to stay healthy and fresh. quite interesting, though hardly anypony seems to know him today…
I can’t say much about the Cloudhoppers though. From what I gather, they have hazings that make our public punishments look like cuddling. Must be because of their Griffon ties.
Ah yes. Be that as it may there is still to this day evidence of significant bias toward the Unicorn race in the courts.
According to court records; last year 5,431 ponies across Equestria were sentenced to public whipping, caning or paddling for their various crimes.
48% of these were Earth ponies.
39% were Pegasi.
only 13% were Unicorns.
Of these 5,431, 15% had their sentences commuted from public spanking to private (815 ponies).
Of these, 71% were Unicorns.
17% were Earth ponies.
12% were Pegasi.
Of course, there are certain social & economic factors that can explain part of this disparity, but it is worth noting that 81% of Equestria Federal Judge seats are held by Unicorns and 67% of local Judges are Unicorns.
Feh. Newfangled poppycock!
Even so, there were a lot of Unicorn nobles willing to show that they, too, understood the woes of their people, and let themselves be spanked in public. Repeatedly. They tended to draw big crowds, too. Quite admirable of them, I think.
Ah yes, I’ve read the history books. Back in the early days of Equestria unicorn royalty could sentence a pegasus or earth pone to horeswhipping without any hearing or trial. That didn’t change until the Equestrian Equal Rights Act was passed.
I’ve been sent out many a times, though I wasn’t an actual representative of the government. Always at the personal behest of her Majesty, the Queen, too. Sometimes I wonder about that one…
Fun little fact: That’s also where New Unicornia - sorry, I meant Equestria - got the phrase “spanking new” from. The more you know!
It’s good for the economy too. Every town needs stocks & a whipping post in the public square…that employs loggers & carpenter ponies.
I’m guessing the government in Canterlot requires a representative to legally witness any judicial ass-smacking sentences…is that your job or do they just send a Royal Guard?
This is getting as ridiculous as an /mlp/ thread.
As they should!
Fortunately, as an Archmage I don’t exactly count as a “commoner”; so no fear of ass smacking for this unicorn, hah!
Yes; the Smacking of the Royal Ass was phased out centuries ago, but the asses of normal, subject ponies may be smacked for any number of crimes, both felony & misdemeanor.
/rolls eyes
You’ve no idea! The nobles were absolutely perplexed when the king came up with this, along with mandatory prench kissing, fondle-your-wife-at-work-day and The Smacking of the Royal Ass.
Incidentally: Celestia phased that one out…
Words come off as mumbles.
YES
YES
I’m very pleased.
Sometimes ponies need to be tied up in their underwear. Equestria Law is funny that way.