You Cant Hurt Me Anymore!
Okay so this has a lot of meaning to it and has a big part of why i’m moving to another place but yeah…
I am free now and that its all behind me i can move on with out the chains pulling me back,
Forward is the way i want to and will go
Nothing can hold me back, i don’t have to hide anymore and be my true self and be the person i want to be
Hope for the future and it’s looking so bright
All you did was make me the scared, fearful, selfhatred, unconfident, selfconcious person i never wanted to be
I stayed with you cause i thought i had feelings but as it grew year after year i was loosing all hope and everything i dreamed and wanted in life
I thought i could never be someone i wanted to be, i thought i was trapped and unloved and uncared for
The amount of times i cared for you, in hospital after your operation, i was there everyday for weeks helping you to pick yourself and get you back to normal health but all you did was shove that away in my face when i needed it most
You never cared about me as much as i did back, you kept me for your own pleasure and for your usage not cause you love me but cause you wanted a toy to play around with
My heart was melting away year after year knowing i couldn’t really get away i was too scared and felt alone and didn’t want my friends to know how much i hurt so i kept it all to myself like a pathetic and useless person i was
You even cheated on me! with two other people! AND I FORGAVE YOU! !! WHY!!?? CAUSE I WAS FREAKING SCARED!!
i was an idiot to have forgiven you , i should have broken it up when i ahd the chance,… but i didn’t i was too innocent to realise my wrongs and to be fully aware of everything that was happening, i didn’t want to believe it then but i was just too naive to notice it
Even your friends were manipulating me and you, i couldn’t be friends with anyone else due to your jealousy and wanting me to be friends with your friends, i never liked them, they never liked me either but i tried to be civil and nice to them to please you but that wasn’t good enough for you apparently, nothing was in your eyes, cause all you were is a a spoilt brat who got pretty much everything you wanted, you used your money on random stuff that was just so unnecessary whilst i was just trying to make a living on what i had from my time working at Subway,
You even took my pride and joy, i know i agreed to her to stay with you but i did it for her not for you! she would of been too stressed out with all the moves i have had to do so it was not fair on her, i miss her so much! she was my first ever pet and i loved her to bits, but you wanted to keep her too cause you were starting to bond with her!!
When i actually starting to make friends and go see them and places you go jealous and you instantly denied it, you didn’t want me to go, but i actually put my foot down art you cause its what i wanted to do and i did ( you know who you guys are) they are my friends!! not yours i don’t care i was never gonna force you to like them cause they aren’t your friends!
You even asked me to get rid of my pony stuff cause it was getting too childish!! i was not letting you do that! i was not gonna let you let me get rid of something that made me so happy i was not gonna let that go, how could you when all i did was respect your liking’s and your weird collection of game stuff but i respected it cause it’s something you liked but i wasn’t allowed to like something of my own, you wanted it out cause your room looked out of place!! i paid to live there too you idiot!!
I know we mutually broke up but to be honest it was the best decision i ever made!
it was tough at the start but all my friends who surrounded me with love and cared for me showed me something i never really felt before
compassion, loyalty, kindness and love that you could never of given to me and never wanted to in the first place, but they all showed me the true person you were and i can see it clear as daylight now that i was far better off without you and now that i dont have you on my back and chained me down like a tiger in a circus getting left behind and forgotten
I have been showed that i can be who i want to be and that i am worth so much
I can move forward and look to the future with happiness and hope, i get to be with the people i love and care for most and look forward to much adventures in the upcoming years
I am me!! No one can change that ever!!
so sorry for the long description, kinda needed to get that out ^^’
so yeah a lot happened that a lot of you guys didn’t know but its high time to not hide anymore and be truthful to myself
Art and character belong to me