@AC97
your comment embodies the problem a number of dark/horror based MLP stories have and why I feel that such genres don’t really work for G4 if done well then it can work ( fallout equstria comes to mind) but this story pretty much has the same problems I have for “ponies being racist towards human” one is like you said the characters being too OOC now having characters be OOC can work but you need to have the characters at least stay in character enough to make it more believable ( in the comics rarity was the one to be posed by the nightmare not fluttershy so in the story she should’ve been the first to make a selfish decision and that should’ve been played for drama instead of her doing so at the end) also there’s no mention of discord or the princesses or of how starlight was able to get away with this I mean I can see starlight being stopped before any of the mane six die but not her killing all but one of them and then never being punished.
But when she has to weight in the possibility of death, with Rainbow being on the verge, and the warning from Twilight that any stab wound can be fatal
That’s another thing, nobody dared to think of “stab through the ear…”
Having both Applejack and Twilight there to calmly reason everyone out of danger defeats the premise of such psychological horror.
It’s undermined if it’s a tacit admission that there wasn’t any buildup, and things just happened that way. It’s a lackluster way to go about the genre if they’re supposed to be heroes that can express a virtue well and spread it, yet it’s so nigh-effortlessly undermined as early as the very first choice; it’s not just the fact that Applejack died early on, it’s the fact that she had absolutely no verbal or physically narrated reaction to any of Pinkie’s, Rarity’s or Fluttershy’s choices whatsoever, to scold, condemn for their selfishness, encourage selfless choices, comfort, whatever. This is uncharacteristically passive of her, and makes it feel like the author conveniently forgot she existed to further the plot, until she died (Rainbow Dash I could see making that reckless mistake, yes, I will say that).
It’s a failing of the story that if Applejack is supposed to be their Team Mom such as that without her they fell apart without someone like her to help hold them together… she did and said more or less absolutely nothing meaningful, as portrayed, which if she actually did, it would better drive home the tragedy and horror of it all.
Rarity being the weakest link does line up with how easily she succumbed to Discord, yes, but Fluttershy is the one that he had to cheat with, and there should thusly be some tension in regards to that, to enhance the horror, take its time, not have someone fold on the very first choice. It leaves more doubt in the head of the reader if they manage to persevere through the trials for a time, before ultimately succumbing due to a multitude of factors (like Applejack’s death actually meaning something other than shock value due to recklessness).
To have it go to hell in a handbasket so easily, it’s clear there are no stakes, and the outcome is predictable very early on, to put it another way.
Also there was absolutely nothing clever about the Laughter test, regarding how Pinkie died; it was just a reaction to gas which doesn’t even make logical sense in concept; the nose is a moist area, so why isn’t it attracted to that? There’s nothing in the way of a social/friendship component about it, it’s just “if you have a physiological reaction, you die.”
@AC97
I disagree, I believe several of the personalities fit rather well. Level-headedness and rationality are the enemies of horror, so it comes as no surprise Applejack had to be the first pony to die. Having both Applejack and Twilight there to calmly reason everyone out of danger defeats the premise of such psychological horror.
Pinkie Pie’s decisions make more sense if you see them through the lens of clairvoyance and subconscious judgement. On some level, Pinkie is aware who the “bad” friends are, and who is less deserving of mercy. That isn’t to say she is bloodthirsty or cruel, just that she blames Fluttershy for the death of Rainbow Dash, who is her bestest friend. Even if by the time it gets to Fluttershy, Dash is well past the point of no return. Still though, literally beating a dead horse would just be desecration in her eyes. Her lack of regard for Rarity’s cutie mark is another subtle clue. Normally, there is no doubt that Pinkie would take the pain because she wouldn’t want to see her friends hurt. But her being aware that Rarity is not only going to refuse to return the favour, but will be the death of another of her friends means she deserves at least some punishment to mark her failure to live up to the ideals of friendship, and to remind her of what’s she’s done. It’s the most justice she can get for Fluttershy’s death.
I also would not be so hasty as to rule Fluttershy as being out of character. She is by far the most susceptible to fear of the Mane Six, and unlike the moments where she overcomes it to stand up to threats, here she doesn’t have any agency. She has to watch this trainwreck unfold, and it doesn’t take very long before the fatal consequences of their decisions are made apparent. The knowledge that you are powerless can be much more crippling than the actual danger itself. And people who are terrified don’t make smart decisions, which is why everything Fluttershy chooses is both irrational, and done to alleviate her own guilt. She brands Pinkie because she has already agreed to it, so she can tell herself she’s not responsible for the agony. She beats Rainbow Dash both out of squeamishness and because she’d agreed to it up to this point, but we actually don’t know if she was still accepting because the last she said was a bloody-mouthed gurgle. She agrees to Twilight’s decision to drown her so that she and Rarity can survive because it is a shared burden for both mares, and Twilight lets her take responsibility out of her hooves so she can tell herself it’s what her friend wanted. And because she cannot live with choosing another pony’s death, Fluttershy was always going to pick chance. Yet again leaving the fate of the test to another pony, who would have to also pick chance if either was going to survive in a way that comes close to being fair. Choosing pain and death to befall another pony is not in Fluttershy’s nature, even if her lack of thinking ultimately leads her to making cowardly decisions.
Rarity is the closest to being OOC and Worst Pony, but even she is not completely irredeemable. Because even her famed generosity has limits, and there is nothing selfish about wanting to live. Which makes her tricking Fluttershy into drinking the poisoned cider, which is utterly despicable of her and truly an example of how manipulative she is, still not unjustified. She is still a pony who would make personal and material sacrifices to benefit her friends, but she doesn’t owe them that. When the stakes are low, she brands Twilight to save her other cutie mark. Vanity and shallowness are still her flaws after all. And Twilight is not going to die from it. But when she has to weight in the possibility of death, with Rainbow being on the verge, and the warning from Twilight that any stab wound can be fatal, the same cold logic makes her agree not to stab anypony, and trust that Twilight’s assesments about blunt trauma are correct (they are not). She again sides with the logic of Twilight’s decision to let her and Fluttershy drown her, instead of all of them risking the same fate. Of course she could have volunteered to be sacrificed instead, but fear for her own life overrules generosity. It is quite a tall ask for anyone to expect you to give up your life for others.
So I do not consider any of them to have been wildly out of character, even if Rarity comes out looking like a scumbag for totally in-character reasons.
There were like, two to three of the six vitally OOC in that story, from the very beginning, because it decided, without pretending for a nanosecond otherwise, that this Starlight would get the “philosophical” victory.
The OOC cases in question being how selfish and spineless Rarity and Fluttershy are in the trials, aside from Pinkie choosing to inflict pain on others, in addition to Applejack being a practical non-entity with three generic lines of dialogue who doesn’t scold others on their selfish choices, and instead died without even screaming… and that’s just on the Kindness (first) test.
It just wasn’t a good Saw flick. You massively lose out on the horror involved if the victims are significantly shittier people than they should be, without any justification whatsoever other than to contrive things along.
Finally, you’d think a Starlight who’s vengeful in such a manner would want to contrive things so Twilight could be alive to gloat to, considering.
your comment embodies the problem a number of dark/horror based MLP stories have and why I feel that such genres don’t really work for G4 if done well then it can work ( fallout equstria comes to mind) but this story pretty much has the same problems I have for “ponies being racist towards human” one is like you said the characters being too OOC now having characters be OOC can work but you need to have the characters at least stay in character enough to make it more believable ( in the comics rarity was the one to be posed by the nightmare not fluttershy so in the story she should’ve been the first to make a selfish decision and that should’ve been played for drama instead of her doing so at the end) also there’s no mention of discord or the princesses or of how starlight was able to get away with this I mean I can see starlight being stopped before any of the mane six die but not her killing all but one of them and then never being punished.
Edited
I disagree, I believe several of the personalities fit rather well. Level-headedness and rationality are the enemies of horror, so it comes as no surprise Applejack had to be the first pony to die. Having both Applejack and Twilight there to calmly reason everyone out of danger defeats the premise of such psychological horror.
Edited