Uploaded by ClownDicks 
1645x793 PNG 54 kB
Interested in advertising on Derpibooru? Click here for information!
Help fund the $15 daily operational cost of Derpibooru - support us financially!
Description
The funny part? I wrote the post the first post in this bit is responding to.
Source
not provided yet
Shining Armor: “Ohh, that poor woman has the saddest tits. Damn depressing.”
Cadance: “Right? Yeah, they’re like The Notebook sad.”
Shining Armor: “Her tits are like ‘coming home from school and finding out that your old man ran over your cat’ sad.”
Cadance: “Mournful. She has mournful tits. They’re like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra.”
Shining Armor: “Those things are like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a Nerf ball—just sad. Damn it, she has gloomy tits!”
Cadance: “It’s like she put a dollar’s worth of change into some old socks and then taped them to her crotch.”
Shining Armor: “I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.”
*on Cadance and Twilight doing a Fantastic Voyage plot on Celestia to discover what’s wrong with her, finding the remains of another Twilight*
Cadance: Oh sh*t, that’s what happened to number seven.
Celestia: Anyway, the short of it is I stumbled across the means to clone by using that giant memory crystal dad found. If you remember, that thing basically implanted memories and knowledge into us and he used this so he could cut corners and not hire any tutors…and is ALSO the reason I didn’t lose my virginity until I was two hundred and forty!
Luna: That is Awful!
Celestia: Urgh, tell me about it. He wasn’t even any-
Luna: No, we mean it is awful thou would clone thine student and replace her so casually! Death is a natural part of life, what thou art doing goes against the very laws of nature!
Celestia: Oh come on, it’s not like you’re any better with manipulating dreams.
Luna: T-that’s different!
Celestia: Oh please, just because you make a ponies lost loved ones appear in their dreams so they can get some hanky panky doesn’t change the fact that you’re still bringing them back in one way or another.
Luna: We…need to rest for a moment. lies down
Celestia: Oh, don’t be like that. Look, if it makes you feel any better the one you knew wasn’t even the original. We’ve been through this oh, I don’t know, how many times Cadence?
Cadence: This would be about fourteen.
Celestia: Fourteen times.
*Cue montage of Twilight death from the following things:
Celestia: We had a gas leak that time…silent killer. Then this other time!
Cut to Celestia and Cadence busting into an ancient tomb as a spike trap activates behind them and kills Twilight. Meanwhile, Cadence and Celestia’s manes have been dyed black and red as opposed to their normal colors
Cadence: chuckles I remember that, that was when we both dyed our uh…gestures to mane
Celestia: Giggles maniacally Oh gosh, I know I know. What were we thinking? We looked horrible! Still, it was nowhere near as bad as that one time I tried to style my own mane to spite my stylist quitting!
Flashback to celestia’s mane looking like a complete mess as she checks on twilights room, accidentally knocking over a lit candle as she leaves, setting the bedsheets on fire
Celestia and Cadence continue laughing
Luna: This is all too much. W-what will we tell Twilights companions?
Celestia: Same thing I tell everypony when this nonsense happens. Twilight never died.
Luna: B-but she did. Thy own apprentice shuffled off the mortal coil like a snake would shed skin.
Celestia: Stop it. She’s Twilight Sparkle. She has all the same memories, same annoying tendencies, same everything. Look, you have a clumsy apprentice then you make them wear a suit of armor. If they’re death prone, you keep a few clones spare in your lab. spots a half-formed twilight clone slouching towards them, albeit clumsily Speak of the Devil, her half-formed ears must be burning. Cadence, you should go put her back in the oven.
Cadence: Shudders Urgh! I hate touching her! She feels like a…a tiny Stretch Hoofstrong.
Luna: Split between life and death: The universe weeps for you Twilight Sparkle…
Celestia: Twilight! Where are your manners!? What do you have to say to my Sister?
Twilight: Fwienship is mawgic! Collapses on floor
I feel sad.
As for the story… It’s fine… I don’t really think Twilight would accuse Celestia, since she worships Celestia so much. I think a better motivation for her suicide would be revolved around the idea of Lost Cries For Help.
I can already imagine a half-formed Twilight clone barely managing to say “Fwienship is mawgic!” before collapsing on the floor.
My god.