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“And..and we….uumm…yeah! What they said!”
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+-SH safe2230168 +-SH screencap300345 +-SH fluttershy264976 +-SH sweetie belle57848 +-SH pony1660223 +-SH g42092209 +-SH stare master854 +-SH animated129596 +-SH cropped62103 +-SH cute274285 +-SH diasweetes3864 +-SH duo191757 +-SH female1867287 +-SH ponies riding ponies2888 +-SH pony hat502 +-SH riding9547
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Oi go’ mah van roigh’ ‘round the back, see ‘ere?
In’t she a beaut’?
(spits in hand and shakes yours)
Alraht! Geht a peekup trehck or sehmthin’?
Sounds loik a good ’un den!
(spits in hand)
Put ’er dere!
Okee, but remahmber whut Ah sehd: Rahssians yewse theese to cehstrate elks, so dehn’t owverdew eet. Nah, seence we hehff gowne through a pear of sweet rahds togethur, Ah ken see yew alraht, so Ah’ll geeve yew a good whowlesayl prahce: 1200 fer da whowl behx, ehnd ah’ll evuhn sayve a good behtch for yew fer thuh nahxt tahm yew cowm bah. Deel?
Yeah, awroigh’, jus’ gimme a box o’ dem RM tingies, and we’ll call i’ a day, hm?
Wiell, CUT hehs thee advehntege (fer mee, at leest) of beeing unpredeectabuhl. No too trehps ah the saym. Thees oane, fer exehmple,wuhs preety mehc jehst yer lehst pahrt, juhst a tehd moa’ veevehd, y’knehw? Moa’ intuhrehctive? Hah cowld yew seh eet…it’s lahk beeing mehny a’ dem doods pehnching peeple at thu saym tahm. Vahry mahnd-behnding.
Oi meant this toime.
Hehw do yew meen? Thees tahm? Thuh fuhrst tahm I evuhr dehd? Cuz’ Ah cehn tehll ye, thowse too are compleetly dehffrent.
(shakes head)
…
Yeah, y’know wha’, Oi’ll take da firs’ one, tank ya very much.
But jus’ a quick question… Wha’ was it loik foah you?
Okee, thehn.
(Now I put 2 small electric blue pills, shaped like XaNax, into a small plate with water. After a heated discussion on Saltines vs Ritz, the already dissolved pills are stirred and put onto small contraptions with a glass container , a frame that fits a human ear, and a funnel-like piece, that seems to have mechanical parts inside. We place the frames over the right ear, and , inmediately after placing it,the frame locks into position and the liquid is rapidly pumped into your head. Your sight seems to become enhanced, clearer and brighter, until you see nothing but a white blur, that quickly disipated to reveal an enormous sand tornado while you hear this, and this, sucking you in, as a massive rush of energy scours through your body, making you clamp your feet. Flashes of light appear among the ripples of the tornado, as it starts spinning faster and faster, until your body is flung out of it. You see a vast desert, and as you begin to fall down, something lets you thrust yourself a tad upward, so you can soar for a bit, before you start gliding down at blinding speed,finally landing on a dune, hard enough to leave a huge hole in the ground. You stand there for a couple of seconds, but suddenly a figure appears behind you and shoots you with a small black bullet. The force of the bullet knocks you into the ground,as you feel a powerful electric current all over your body. Meanwhile , you see strobelight-like flashes of people beating the piping hot fuck out of each other.The flashes become faster and faster, as does the music, until everything is going so fast it doesn’t even make sense anymore. Minutes later, you awaken next to a tree, a fuzzy sensation in the soles of your feet)
Huh, who’d ’ve thunk eht? Thee effahcts were dehfferuhnt on yew.
Well, I would ‘ate to go an’ ‘ave missed out on sumfink, so let’s troi dat one too.
Yup, thee ole’ bluehs trayn ‘s olwehs delivuhs.
But ye shehre? Ye steel hehvn’t had aneh CUT.
(playing all three songs at once was one of the best things I have ever done.)
Cor Blimey, now THA’S wha’ I’m talkin’ abou’!
I’ll give yer a grand an’na ‘alf fer an whole box o’ dem tings. Whaddya say?
Hier we gow!
_(We both drink the whole tube at the same time, and as you feel your hands tingle and your sight starts to turn into this:
You hear this, this and this (I mean, you hear samples of them played randomly,as if they tried to interrupt each other) . You see a big train , with many 8-legged horses running aside it, leaving behind a big cloud of dust. You see me in the last wagon, along with a bunch of hobos wearing many cowboy hats and ties.You enter the wagon to discover it has a bunch of 3-boobed strippers walking around giving lapdances and the same tubes mentioned earlier. You hear them reciting the lyrics from the songs you are hearing. Suddenly, you see a volcano explode, but it’s not lava it’s expelling, but warm,golden cider, and all the strippers bathe in it. You dive into the cider, and as the last notes of the songs are heard, and you sink to the bottom of the cider feeling an indescribable joy,light fades out.
…
…
…
…
You wake up, lying in the floor, as I look down on you, waiting for you to fully awaken)
Sow? Had a fehn rahd?
Edited because: Rule #7
’it me.
You’re not the only one.
Okee thehn.
(Cracks open 2 small ,smooth,silver-colored shiny pills)
Jehst so yew knehw mah stehff is cleen, Ah’ll rahd theese blooes trayn with yew.
_(I pour the liquid the pills had into small, sharp ,cone-shaped test tubes, colorfully adorned with snake motifs,with a small naked woman statue clinged to it, hugging it)
You readeh?
Oi’ll troi de RM first, awroigh’?
Sow, CUT or RM?
Agreed, mah frien’, agreed. Now there’s a roigh’chap, innit?
Yah, shehr , whutevehr. If ye wehnt a sehmple, ye ehsk fer eht as sehch. Nah, mah sehmple pahlicy is theht I geeve ye haff of eithah CUT ehr RM, and if thuh jehmper down’t hit ye een 5 mehnehtes, Ah geeve yew a quattah grehund ehp Troofah,ehnd if THEHT down’t werk, wee’ll hehve to lehk at saom …..otha’ stehff Ah stoa’. We agree?
Woh, you don’ get a bi’o’ rhymin’?
Awroigh’ den… To ‘ave a Butcher’s ‘ook means ‘avin’ a look, see? And Adam and Eve means believin’ som’tin’, roigh’? So, you go down de Appwes ‘n’ pears (that means stairs) an’ gimme wha’ I pay you foah.