and she dodge and fly away!

NO!

@Nootnoot  
I think that was the original description on deviant art.

@Sdf1jjak  
Did you used to be a scriptwriter for Dan Vs. or something? Because that was spot freakin’ on.

“Chris, I need your help.”  
sigh “What is it this time, Dan?”  
“Some hideous fiend has been robbing me of the healthy, delicious joy of honeycrisp apples, and I need your help to find it and kill it.”  
“And what makes you so sure that it’s a monster?”  
“I have evidence. See?!”  
“I see a rotten apple, Dan.”  
“Look closer, dunce. See that? Fang marks! Obviously my apples are being defiled by some twisted sort of vampire fruit bat!”  
“Are you sure you didn’t just leave the apples out too long and Mr. Mumbles just might have tried to take a bite out of one?”  
“I’m serious! My produce is being ravaged by a juice-sucking demon of the night! We need to find some garlic, a wooden stake, and a fire axe.”  
“Why would you need a fire axe?”  
“How else am I supposed to decapitate it? Duh!”

@Background Pony #A75B  
What?

@Background Pony #8BA2  
Shush, chatty monkey.

Put Flutterbat out of her misery Dan!

@Background Pony #169E  
Lowers gun O_O Ha ha ha! XD

@Ponyville Ranger  
I just realized something. I don’t like either of you. I hope the both of you are gutted by cannibal clowns.

@Background Pony #A75B  
Um… yes.

@Background Pony #9495  
Aims lower Touche.

@Shadow_the_Hedgehog  
Apparently not, Mr Late Comment.

@Background Pony #9495  
Sorry… I killed her 8 days ago >:D

@Ponyville Ranger  
pulls out minigun I don’t need to be fast about it. I just need to bust a nut.

[Turns gun on Background Pony #59C9 Wonder who’s got the fastest trigger finger, partner…

pulls gun on ponyville ranger DO IT DAN! REMOVE THE EVIL FROM THIS WORLD!

Go ahead Dan. Cocks shotgun Split on hair on her head, and I split you.

@Background Pony #9A13  
Quiet you!

@Ichijoe  
Pretty sure he wasn’t out to get you, calm down.

wing strikes his gonads.

@PrisonedMuffin  
Besides you didn’t phrase your Question correctly. It should have been “Who is” instead of “What is”…

Do it Dan!