@DanielTepesKraus  
As an Ex-Jehovah’s Witness™ I can confirm that this would mostly work. lol

@MrThumbsup  
That is a hilarious comment! I love the comeback.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Nah, that sounds fair enough.
 
For many religions, especially Christianity, there’s an aspect of ‘people who don’t believe this are doomed to an unpleasant fate’, so people who earnestly believe this stuff and are concerned for other people will tend to want to convert people.
 
Though a slight point of order, I would say that you really cannot prove God doesn’t exist, just as much as you can’t prove that he does. Which to me makes arguing it a moot point; you either choose to believe or not.

@twistedmetalero  
What a lot of non-religious people don’t realize about religious people is the latter believes that stuff just as strongly as the former doesn’t believe it.
 
It’s like, you could tell me until you’re blue in the face that God is real and blah blah blah but deep down I’ll never believe in religious teachings because I simply wasn’t raised that way.
 
At the same time, you could tell a religious person until you’re blue in the face that God isn’t real. You could give complete, airtight, and irrefutable proof that there is no God and all religions are wrong. Deep down they would still believe it.
 
I have found the absolute best way to drive them away is, like I said before, come to the door with nothing on but a towel around you. They’re not making a deliberate attempt to inconvenience you, they’re there to share their faith because it’s what they believe in. If they see they’ve shown up at a genuinely bad time, they’ll immediately excuse themselves and leave.
 
At the same time, showing up naked or in a devil costume, they’ll just roll their eyes and say “[INSERT BIBLE PASSAGE HERE]” because the way they see it you’re not a dude they’ve inconvenienced, but a deluded person who needs to see the light.
 
And for the record, I no doubt worded that in a way that would offend religious people. That wasn’t my intent; I really don’t know enough about religion to word it properly.

@DanielTepesKraus
 
yeah, i bet they see shit like that everyday, their will has also been tested.

@Nukechaser  
@Nukechaser  
They will laugh and give you their speech.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Like, every time they come to my door I’ll do that. Would that work?

@DanielTepesKraus  
Then I’m going to show up naked, sporting an erection, covered in fake blood, smoking weed. I’m sure they’ll get the hint.

@Nukechaser  
No, that does not work. They will be back, again and again and again.
 
When you say “I’m not interested”, they hear “I’ll crack eventually.”

@Nukechaser
 
i think something like that would probably attract them.
 
you know, like a challenge.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Could you potentially just tell them that you’re not interested, and not to come again? doesn’t that work against Mormons?
 
When I get a house, they’ll probably just see the HAIL SATAN sign out front and not bother.

@twistedmetalero  
Another one I use is I go to the door and start talking in French. That crow won’t caw in Canada since a lot of people up there speak it, but here in America it’s rare. They’ll apologize and be on their way.
 
If you don’t have a second language, just put on a mock Russian accent and act like you have a lot of trouble speaking English.

@twistedmetalero  
Just say “I’m not gay, but I’m willing to learn.” xD

@DanielTepesKraus
 
Im not good at being polite too many times, if they do that they might drive me crazy and yell something extremely offensive

@twistedmetalero  
Honestly, at the risk of offending JW’s who might read this, these guys are harder to chase away than cockroaches. They’ll ignore No Soliciting signs, and I’ve had them knock on both the front and side door of my house.
 
Best bet is to just act like you’re not at home. Alternatively, lose your clothes and come to the door with a towel around you, and pretend you’re not at home when they come back (they will). If they catch you, just be polite and tell them you don’t have time to talk.
 
No point being rude to them. They’re just people doing what they do.

i dont have a problem with jehova witnesses since they dont got much churces around here, or in colombia for any reason.
 
however im sure ill deal with them once i go to canada.
 
any tips to like scare them shitless? like an apron full of something that looks like blood in order to tick them off like daniel?

@StinkomanFan  
I know, it’s weird. I’d be six feet under if not for a blood transfusion, so all glory to eating blood (That actually is what they equate it to, by the way).
 
Science, bitches. Say what you want about any moral implications present, but it gets. shit. done.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t believe in donating blood or organs.

@VladimirMacHolzraum  
This here’s my best experience with Jehovah’s Witnesses. I live right by one of their churches, and for a while these same two JWs, a husband and wife, were hell bent on saving my soul. I have no actual quarrel with religion of any kind, but they were coming so often I just got fed up. I made a sign that read “Stop knocking on my fucking door unless you have pizza or a cheque”.
 
So the next time they came, they actually brought a pizza. At that point I gave in, let them in, brewed some coffee and let them deliver their speech over the pizza. I eventually drove them away unintentionally, when they brought up blood transfusions and I praised them, saying I owe my own life to one and thus give regularly. I guess that ticked them off or something, because they haven’t been back since.

@VladimirMacHolzraum  
I just let my dad get the door. Making sure he puts on the pastoral collar first.
 
Sometimes they go for it anyways and take it as a challenge. He can counter-scripture them all day long.

Answering the door while wearing a Tyvek suit and a respirator is actually a surprisingly effective way to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to leave you alone.

Best way to get rid of a Jehovah;s witness.  
 
Send them back to Hell!

“Ah jus’ wanted to ask, have ya’ll found God?”
 
“Why no, I had no idea he was missing! Here, check across the street, I think I saw him over there.”

 
Celestia is gawd.  
Wipe away the tears.

“Have ya’ll foun’ Celestia in yer life?”