“Union Panic”… trying very hard to hold in laugh

To me this is one of those images that kinda sticks with ya. Kinda like this one >>68331

@Background Pony #4155  
You know, now I want to write a version of this story with a neat twist that the person gets exactly what they want, no loopholes, no tricks or rule-breaking, but they realize that it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and they’re deeply disappointed, and now that they’ve achieved their life dreams but their dreams aren’t fulfilling, they’re forced to rethink things.
 
I think that’s what the moral of those stories are supposed to be, but they botch it somewhat by having some cheap subversion or trick come in that ultimately isn’t in the spirit of what they asked for.

@Cirrus Light  
Then a third party appears and takes your soul. There is always a loophole. Also, why are you assuming the wish granter would play fair and abide by the rules? :)
 
BTW in most of the “3 wishes” stories the third wish is used to undo the unforeseen consequences of the first two wishes.

@Greenjack  
Heh. Wishing for the negative effects of the wish to be negated :P
 
“I’ll grant you three wishes, but in return, I get your soul!”
 
“Okay, first, I wish for vast riches. Second, a rich social life of friends and a true love. Third… That you don’t get my soul.”

And I’ll be with him (I know you will)  
On that midnight train to Georgia (leavin’ on the midnight train to Georgia)  
I’d rather live in his world  
Than live without him in mine  
That world is his, his and ’ers alone

@redweasel  
wish to go to heaven regardless of your misdeeds?

Engine 1337, eh? :3

@redweasel
 
@JustLikeTheNewGuy  
In the original story the main character asks the conductor for his railroad watch and that the watch be given the power to stop time at a moment of his choosing (by pulling the watches pin) when he feels he will be at his happiest and live in that moment for eternity. Thus he believes he has found a loophole in the conductors deal and openly mocks him as the conductor reboards the train and it continues on.
 
The point of the story is that the main character can never decide if certain moments in his life are the happiest or if there will be something better down the road and waits so long that he becomes a feeble old man in a retirement home (and very unhappy). He must now debate wether to face eternity in his unhappy life or wait and let the train come for him. He suddenly has a stroke and the train arrives to take him away.
 
Once onboard the conductor mocks the man and tells him that he has seen hundreds of men make the same wish and that they always end up on the train with him anyway. The man looks around and sees that the train is made up of men partying and living it up on board the train as they take their last ride into damnation. The conductor asks to have the watch returned to him and as the man pulls it out of his pocket he suddenly yanks the pin out of the watch locking him (and everyone else on board) in that moment of time to forever ride the train.
 
As the conductor laments that the train will now never reach the “final terminal” the man says what better way to spend eternity than in the company of his fellow damned on their last ride and asks the conductor for a position on the train as his brakeman.

@redweasel  
invulnerability and immortality.

@boilerwash  
well that seems dumb. what could you possibly wish for that’d be worth hellfire and damnation?
 
it’s pretty anyway, and scary.

Seems a bit like a modern update of an old story called “The Hellbound Train”. Basically at night a train appears to you in a time of need and the conductor offers to grant you a single wish for anything. The catch is that the train will come for you when you die and take you to the “final terminal”.

@dt  
looks like it’s a GE locomotive, so it has brakes, but they don’t work.

Does this train have brakes?