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I’m regretting not going with “continental breakfast”.
Make that CONTINENTAL cuisines. XD
Not really my ideal scale, but always a pleasure to see nonetheless!
She hiccuped as they hit her stomach (One of them, anyways), sighs pleasantly, then manifested a giant toothpick fit for her size and then started picking her teeth, taking a brief break from her feasting to reflect on her… appetite.
This was a relatively recent thing; Queen Eris began developing this ‘worldly’ taste around a century after those two Alicorns who turned her to stone with their silly baubles both went mad at the same time, and their precious little Ponies freed her in desperation to save them from their brotherly spat over ‘eternal day/night’ or whatever. She was still getting used to the job of being ‘Queen’ that they made her after she put them both away, and didn’t know much about solving problems in ways that doesn’t involve her old antics. Make her somewhat regret promising to ‘play nice’ by that Pie clan Pony who freed her, even if it did help her keep the ego-stroking adoration her new grateful subjects, so eager to please their new ‘benevolent overlord’.
She remembered doing it on a random whim; that city-state on the borderlands was dumb enough to launch raids into her new turf to enslave her little fans/sycophants/pets/whatever and sell them to the Griffons and Dragons, notably for the purpose of DINING on them, being carnivores and all. Well, she can’t have that; the little Ponies will annoy her to no end with their pleadings and advice if she just sat back and do nothing, and she don’t plan to lose credit with her adorers (And lose the adorers themselves). Besides, she was the LADY OF CHAOS - she had a reputation to uphold.
She felt it was appropriately ironic. The thing that decided it was when they laughed their rears off after she told them what she planned to do - Evidently, they don’t know her very well. One magical growth-spurt and a gulping later, they weren’t laughing much. At least, not from the pits of her belly. It surprised her how much she liked eating them. Granted, with her magic, she could make them taste whatever she wants. Maybe it was the squirming of the little rascals in her mouth and in her innards; maybe it was the novelty of it, compared to just ‘Erising’ them or make it rain houses over them; maybe it was in the nature of Chaos to eventually ‘Consume’ all Order, as that egghead Dusk Shine had hypothesized; she actually like doing something good like Butterscoch suggested and this was her first impression of what it’s like; maybe it was something else entirely.
Don’t know, don’t matter - only thing she knows is that once she likes doing something, it was on her list of things to do. And it moved surprisingly quick up the list; it started small at first; a city or stronghold here, a few villages or towns there, and only when it felt fitting. But the more she savoured them, relishing their taste, the feeling of them trapped inside her, the more her appetite grew, and she made ‘Feasting’ a standard modus operandi on top of everything else. Like all other antics she has, she could get carried away - it was by her second century of rule that some-pony pointed out she already ate a quarter of all lands and people of the world and there won’t be much left if she kept going before the millennia is out.
Even if she had grew too fond of her world and subjects now to eat them all, it still isn’t in her nature to just STOP - It took the Pie clan many generations of work to get her to ‘behave’, after all. Luckily, there were other options: It was a known fact that she could hop dimensions and universes, and she already knew at least one other world where she dumped her idiotic ‘Chaos-Is-Destruction’ cousin Prince Disorder*. She considered eating him too, but it felt safer to simply dump him elsewhere again, this time into the dimension of Black Holes; after that, she had free rein to feast on everyone and everything there, even that Mare of Shadows that had conquered and remade the place in her image. And when there was nothing left for Queen Eris to savour, she moved onto the next world. And the next. And the next…
That had gone on for the last eight centuries. She had never kept trek just how many worlds and people she had feasted on, though it should be in the uncounted thousands and billions, respectively. She had targeted mostly places that are so corrupt and disharmonious no one would complain if she went and ate everything (It helped they tasted infinitely better than all the goodie-two-shoes that she’s technically one of now, due to her nature as a Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony). Like the world she’s current buffeting in, with all those decadent kingdoms, wretched hives, dens of scum and villainy; barbarians and slavers and tyrants and lawyers the like, just waiting to go down her gullet.
And the hungry chaos goddess had often consumed all - chomping up all the civilizations, licking up all the living things, drinking all the oceans like soda, draining all the magic and even puffing up all the air - picking clean everything down to bedrock and leaving behind empty wastes even more barren than the primordial chaos from which she came. Sometimes, she would ‘play with her food’, or use them to satiate her… ‘other’ appetites besides her hunger; but one way or another though, they would all end up inside of her. On some worlds where there’s still good places and people, she left them alone to dine on the not-so-good ones, leaving them to witness what is to them an unfolding apocalypse and what to her is a luncheon.
Incidentally, some of these worlds are ruled by villains that her student and his friends had defeated or not redeemed; given how they (She grudgingly admit) one-upped her on occasions, she found them all especially delicious. Except for those Lord/Lady Tireks; like her cousin, she’s not taking any chances of them sucking up her magic from inside her bowels like a parasite, and those Starlight Glimmers/Stellar Gleamings still often give her more trouble than they should. With her chaos powers, though, she had all the room she will ever need to fit all of them all in there. She even ate all those counterparts of her and her relatives, once she grew powerful enough to overpower and add them to the menu. They always proved to be quite exquisite as delicacies, although her ego made it quite clear she expected nothing less.
Sometimes she shrink and ‘bottled up’ the only remaining good lands first before gorging on the rest, lest someone accuse her of not caring about them, taking them back home for safekeeping (Starting by replacing that quarter she chowed down on). Other times, she saved up on a few evil places that she can eat up as a light snack or midnight cravings later. That Prince Bolero up North on her world had off-hoofedly snarked something about why not go all the way and ‘Put whole WORLDS in BOTTLES’ while at it. Great idea, maybe she should try it one of these days - She pretty much owns their world now anyways, and as with her own personal chaotic touches, as long as she does it so no one really gets hurt, they ought to cut her some slack about that.
Granted, few of her subjects and ‘friends’ back home know about her cravings - it’s still one of the MINOR shenanigans she gets up to in her spare time off-work, and it’s not like she actually needs to eat the proper meals except if it suited her, so hardly anyone notices. Which may be a good thing; if her student/friend/accomplice Bubble Berry of the Pie clan ever get word of how much she truly eats, he might actually put his hoof down and - she actually shuddered at the thought - PUT her on a DIET. Nope, she’s definitely not having any of that, even if she does care about her glutes.
Like any addiction, though, her ‘worldly tastes’ had only ever been increasing, almost exponentially, and at the rate things are going, if she don’t cut back, she’ll be gulping down the actual worlds themselves - and then the solar system. Then whole galaxies. Maybe even whole universes - before the aeon is out. She shrugged internally at that thought; that doesn’t sound too bad. They always say never do things you like half-way when you can go all the way, and more.
The sound of panicking and screaming down below her currently gargantuan form broke her out of her reminiscences, catching her attention. “Oh keep it down, you lot. I’m not planning to chow down on you yet…” She rolled her eyes as the screaming got louder and worse. Then, she gave them a hungry look, smiling and licking her salivating tongue over her teeth, “Unless you want me to go through with you first, that is…?”
THAT shut them up real quick.
Flicking away that giant toothpick - it would end up nailing itself in this world’s moon - she rose back up, flattened mountain ranges and coastlines falling off the underbelly of her size-changed form. She looked around the world she is in - still so many places to go through, and she still have plenty of time left she can afford to take her time to choose which ones to eat first. She had all of eternity and infinity to eat to her heart’s delight, anyway.
Maybe she should get started with the other hemisphere…
*Genderbent version of ‘Princess Eris’ from IDW ‘Nightmare Knights’ series. Really hated her, so no comments on that.
Source: the same from that image.