I hope you had your medical education up-to-date at the Canterlot library before opening up shop!! Because lemme tell ya, Meadowbrook!!
 
~~Sleeping and kissing skulls every night WON’T stop you from grinding your teeth at night (erroneously told by “experts” in Mesopotamia)
 
~~Pouring hot broken glass over the patients’ eyes WON’T get rid of cataracts (erroneously thought up by ancient gypsies)
 
-Mercury ISN’T the cure-alls for all diseases!
 
-Eating rotten mice WON’T stop your fillies form bed-wetting OR relieve toothaches in paste-form!
 
-Rubbing a dead pony’s hoof WILL NOT shrink away your cysts!
 
-Sticking a beet or cabbage root in the shape of a hoof up your plothole CANNOT relieve constipation!
 
-Soaking your eyes in hen or goose dung WILL NOT improve your eyesight!
 
AND FINALLY—(but NOT THE LAST OF ALL other ludicrous medical practices)
 
-Injecting your face with paraffin wax WILL NOT get rid of wrinkles!