Page 332 - Mr. Welch for Ponies

Author: Zarhon

Guest Author’s Note: “Inspired by Mr. Welch. Who is probably Rainbow Dash in this comic. Or Pinkie Pie. Or both.

It’s probably only a matter of time before they have to read this list to Princess Celestia, or she has to read it to them.”

Newbiespud’s Note: We’ve got a couple more of these along this theme. They’ll be spread out over the course of this break.

Things the Mane Six can no longer do during an RPG

• A catapult is NOT an adequate replacement or substitute for flying.
• I cannot have a character stay awake or avoid sleep indefinitely, even if the rules allow it.
• No amount of crafting expertise allows me to replace or otherwise substitute the other players.
• I cannot craft my own allies for a morale bonus, either.
• Or for any other reason, for that matter.
• I cannot lose sanity in a setting that doesn’t feature it as a mechanic.
• I’m not allowed to intentionally lose sanity in a setting that DOES feature it.
• Acting insane does not give me a bonus for RPing if I’m not actually insane.
• Being separated from your allies for over an hour is not an argument for instant mental breakdown.
• Not allowed to use insanity as method of intentionally breaking alignment on demand.
• The ‘hunting’ skill is a poor substitute for the ‘animal handling’ skill.
• Not allowed to hunt the other characters, no matter what animal they may or may not be.
• Not allowed to charm, mind control, manipulate, or otherwise enthrall the entire population of a village.
• Not allowed to charm, mind control, manipulate, or otherwise enthrall the entire population of anything.
• Even with the best of intentions.
• Just because I forced the whole town to sing a musical does not mean I can force the DM into doing the same.
• Not allowed to tempt fate, just because I’m bored.
• Not allowed to tempt the DM either.
• Any member of royalty is not to be robbed or mugged on sight.
• Especially not right in front of them.
• Being able to control the weather does not automatically make me a goddess, nor does it allow me to ‘smite mortals’.
• Not allowed to use time travel to skip the DM’s future adventure or plot.
• Or to ‘fix’ the DM’s future adventure or plot.
• Or to make my own custom-tailored adventure or plot to play through.
• Not allowed to use time travel, period.
• Even if doing so would be the moral, righteous, or just thing to do, the laws of physics will not adhere to my demands.
• Not even if I ask nicely.
• I can’t bluff either.
• I am not allowed to bend or manipulate any of the following: Reality, physics, causality, time, the fourth wall, the universe.
• Not allowed to counter-veto, de-throne, or otherwise interfere with the DM either.
• Even if the rules and character sheet says I can.