Seriously though, my worry has turned into panic.
 
I dont think this movie is horrible, by no means, but its also really far away from great. I have no idea what Shyamalan was thinking (or drinking) when coming up with this, but the fact that he based this on a story he used to tell his daughters at night says more about him than I wished for.
 
To be fair, the movie does get some things right. For starters the two leads, Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard, are fantastic. Their delivery is so good they can make some of the corniest lines in the movie feel authentic. Also, and I feel really silly when saying this but, the mythology the movie presents its kind of cool. It feels really familiar though, all the way down to the wolves made out of plants. And the music by James Newton Howard is very beautiful, definitely worth checking out.
 
However, it has major problems going for it. Every character aside from the leads is absolutely bland and streamlined; the double plot twist isnt justified and it feels downright insulting; the pacing is non-existent as well as the suspense; the jab it throws at film critics is so blunt and unfunny that one thinks that was the only reason for the films existence; its revoltingly preachy at many points; and the fact that M. Night Shyamalan casts himself as a character, who happens to be a writer, and whose book will change the future is just nauseating.
 
This movie does have some good things, yes, but its impossibly full of itself. I want to enjoy it, I really do, but these issues just get in the way and prevent me to do so.
 
And now, if you excuse me, I think I have to either run away to safety or look in a book for what Timberwolves eat. I hope they dont eat ponies, or else Im done for.