“Um… hi?” he said nervously, not moving at all save for a very slight rock back and forth.
“Hello, Coma,” you said in a tone that displayed your annoyance as you crossed your arms and let yourself flop against the door, “Long time no see.”
He grinned nervously, showing off his impressive fangs, “Heh heh, y-yeah, buddy,” he said trying to sound friendly, “How’s it going? Still doing the green shirt… and stuff… and I was… I was going to flutter in and say hello… and ask permission… but… but… I was just so tired and I didn’t want to bother you…”
“Sure,” you said sarcastically, “So nice of you to take the shed instead of come inside to snooze… And I bet it has nothing to do with that hundred bits you still owe me.”
His grin widened even more. “I… I… I… uh… Look, come on, buddy! You know I’m good for it! That last job was a bust; some stupid yellow pegasus beat me to the idol and made off with the loot. I barely snagged enough to get a bite to eat before the whole place came down!”
Treasure hunters, you thought spitefully as you only raised an eyebrow in response.
“Come on!” he said pleadingly, “Don’t do the eyebrow thing! I hate when you do the eyebrow thing! Look, I got something else. Something big! I’ll make the grab, make the sale, pay you back, y’know maybe slip you a little extra and call it interest, and we’re even-Steven!”
You didn’t believe a single word from this deadbeat bat pony’s fanged mouth. He loved to call himself a ‘treasure hunter’ but from what you could gather he was little more than a thief and a drifter, and at this point you were pretty sure that hundred bits was gone forever. You felt like giving him the heave-ho, and yet you couldn’t: he was doing the face. How a slit-eyed blood-sipping creature of the night could pull off such an immaculate puppy-dog face was beyond you, but he could, he was, and it was good. “Fine…” you said in sheer defeat, “and… come inside to sleep.”
“You are a patron and a saint, buddy!” he said happily as his tail let go of the roof and his wings rolled him around into a fluttery uneven hover in front of you. He threw his leg out for a hoofbump, “Come here, big guy!”
“However,” you said sternly as you booped his nose, making his ears shoot straight up in surprise, “If you try and bite me again-””
“Aw come on! I only tried that once and you act like it’s the end of the world,” he interrupted, “and you smell good, okay? It’s not my fault that-
“Coma!” you said with a faint growl of frustration.
“Moment of weakness, bud! It was a moment of weakness. Won’t happen again, I promise!” he said as the two of you headed back to the house, “But y’know, you do smell good. No homo.”
XD
If there’s one thing DBZ Abridged has taught me… it’s that whether you’re about to die or about to kill someone, you must always, ALWAYS, have a clever line ready.
Now let me put it in words that will make you understand.
I’m about to blow my load all over your insides.
Wait… what?
No homo.
Now, we must question what coma’s intentions will end up doing… Coma will probably DIE after a night in Anon’s house, considering the massive number of creatures there, and how defensive they might get.
Magic. Snorting optional.
I don’t get the reference. It simply made me wonder how a vampire pony could be a london werewolf who’s tailor I’d like to meet.
I love it when they get the reference.
Considering Anon has made some new friends that are likely quite protective of him I’d wager Coma’s probably gonna hafta think twice before he tries something funny.
So we are in for a Twilight story only with horse and human and gayness and buttsecks? Yay!
Yep, he’s the direct contrast to all the other characters who have popped up at GMHAA’s house. While the others have been good natured, harmless, and appeared out of nowhere, Coma’s shifty, probably wanted by the guards, and already has a history with Anon.
@Keith Mowz
@Blissey1
Yep, he’s a straight-forward bloodsucker. It’s not to say he has to drink blood, but it is his preferred food.
@Solitude
Clean adorable, I guess is what I meant to say. Don’t get me wrong, I love the strange/cute nature of Badum’s porn as much as everyone else, but sfw doesn’t hurt every once in a while either.
I musta missed that part…
well hold on, we don’t know that he drinks blood. we only know that he tried to bite GMHAA once. Why he tried to bite him is still up in the air
It can be both. Both is good.
@Blissey1
Well, he drinks blood so vampire bat pony. Which is still weird for Equestria because its not a vampire fruitbat pony at the very least, and Flutterbat as far as we know was more or less a one-of-a-kind thing since we know nothing about canon bat ponies; Luna’s chariot guards could have just been magic’d into costume for the night.
well hold up here. You seem to be implying that 90% of the stuff he does isn’t already adorable.
“No homo.”
Of course, darling. Can’t wait to see them get to it, then.
I think Badum should be allowed to be adorable every once in a while. I mean, he is pretty good at it.
I can only imagine the droppings it makes. Bats are terrible about that