This is an interesting comic, but you really need a proofreader. The spelling mistakes really detract from the overall feel of the story.
But really - and I don’t want to be harsh but I can’t think of any better way of putting this - the foundation of the story is pretty weak. Which would be fine, given that it was your first few panels that caused the problem, but it feels like you’re just compounding on it with poor pacing and half-baked arcs. It’s not too late to fix the illogical “all of these main and background characters were all created at the same time” plotline, and you can still try to keep people guessing as to what might come even if you stick with it instead of letting everyone see it from a mile off.
Like for instance: Big Mark. You could have just as easily named him “Mark” and then had his personality and actions show who he would become, instead of making it painfully obvious by having a nearly-identical name to the canon character. Or like how you had whatever-her-name-is talk about how she’d like to become a pink horse or how she has this frazzled hairstyle and everything. I mean, there’s more to these characters than just one dimension, and by showing that depth you can let the audience draw their own conclusions before making it obvious at the climax.
I dunno. I mean, it’s your comic; I just get annoyed at poor storytelling when it’s SO CLOSE to being amazing.
Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh there; I really do enjoy your comic, it’s just that there are a few glaring mistakes that I can’t look past.
Before it has been stated that certain characters are ancestral to the cannon cast. For example, Fleur is Rairty’s ancestor. So here we have both Derpy and Fluttershy’s ancestor. Ten bucks says they create Discord here…
So now we know where Derpy is in this world, I’m gonna agree with 40kponyguy and say that the one so eager to control things with thought alone is probably discord. It seems odd that different characters that are thousands of years apart in the timeline could be part of the original conversion process, so maybe only a select few have been around forever while the rest were born into the world, hence the unusual nature of Derpy, Pinkie, and Discord, while the rest are more normal… because they are aware of what the world used to be and are far older than they should be.
This isn’t likely, what we probably have going is an alternate universe where the real world becomes the pony world and in the process we’re going to see Celestia and Luna age up pretty quickly. If on the condition that this is meant to be the true beginning thousands of years back without actually making everyone immortal, we’re gonna need to see why they’re strewn throughout time at a later date.
So, here we can expect the creation of one of the villains?
Either Discord or Sombra I should think. Both were supposed to have been around at the same time, although Discord does sound more likely. He’d turn everything pony just because it’s funny.
to be fair, pinkie pie is the only one of them who’d be aware of being a pink pony in her next life.
But really - and I don’t want to be harsh but I can’t think of any better way of putting this - the foundation of the story is pretty weak. Which would be fine, given that it was your first few panels that caused the problem, but it feels like you’re just compounding on it with poor pacing and half-baked arcs. It’s not too late to fix the illogical “all of these main and background characters were all created at the same time” plotline, and you can still try to keep people guessing as to what might come even if you stick with it instead of letting everyone see it from a mile off.
Like for instance: Big Mark. You could have just as easily named him “Mark” and then had his personality and actions show who he would become, instead of making it painfully obvious by having a nearly-identical name to the canon character. Or like how you had whatever-her-name-is talk about how she’d like to become a pink horse or how she has this frazzled hairstyle and everything. I mean, there’s more to these characters than just one dimension, and by showing that depth you can let the audience draw their own conclusions before making it obvious at the climax.
I dunno. I mean, it’s your comic; I just get annoyed at poor storytelling when it’s SO CLOSE to being amazing.
Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh there; I really do enjoy your comic, it’s just that there are a few glaring mistakes that I can’t look past.
Edited
This isn’t likely, what we probably have going is an alternate universe where the real world becomes the pony world and in the process we’re going to see Celestia and Luna age up pretty quickly. If on the condition that this is meant to be the true beginning thousands of years back without actually making everyone immortal, we’re gonna need to see why they’re strewn throughout time at a later date.
Either Discord or Sombra I should think. Both were supposed to have been around at the same time, although Discord does sound more likely. He’d turn everything pony just because it’s funny.
its never a good thing when you hire Dr.Wily