Teacher: “Now class, tomorrow we’ll be starting on our sexual education unit. I will pass out these informative pamphlets in advance.” starts passing out pamphlets to the students
 
Roy: opens the pamphlet to see illustrations of genitalia “O-oh, um…” blushes
 
Paint: hides under her hair in embarrassment “Why us?”
 
Teacher: “I expect you all to read up through chapter three tonight. Tomorrow there will be a quiz to make sure you actually read it. Class dismissed.”
 
(Paint and Roy start walking home)
 
Paint: “Oh, why do we need to read this?”
 
Roy: “I don’t know…i-if it’s alright with you, can I stay at your house this afternoon? My parents are on a business trip…”
 
Paint: “Of course! We’d love to have you!”
 
Roy: blushes and smiles
 
(Paint and Roy arrive at the Dash household)
 
Paint: “Well…I guess we might as well get this reading over with…”
 
Roy: “B-but it’s so embarrassing!”
 
Paint: “I know…” she and Roy open their books and cringe
 
Roy: “It’s so…graphic…”
 
Firework: walks into the room “Well well well, studying your sex education I see!”
 
Roy: “EEP!”
 
Paint: “F-Firework!”
 
Firework: “Lemme see this.” takes the book
 
Paint: “N-no!” blushes in embarrassment
 
Firework: “Hm…this is pretty hot stuff here. I’m not sure kids your age should be reading this.”
 
Roy: “Um…”
 
Firework: “I bet the guys who wrote this haven’t even been to second base! You shouldn’t be reading this lame stuff. You need to learn from somepony with experience.”
 
Paint: “…Experience?”
 
Firework: “Yep, and I’m your guy. First we gotta toss out these dumb pamphlets and read some REAL literature.”
 
Roy: “R-real literature?”
 
Firework: “Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). It’s a classic, and I even got a copy today just for this!”
 
Jewel: wheels in a chalkboard
 
Roy: “J-Jewel?”
 
Jewel: “Oh, hi Roy! Hi Paint! Firework invited me over to help with the lesson.”  
Paint and Roy: “Lesson!?”
 
Firework: “Okay kids, listen up. I’m gonna tell you how sex REALLY works…”
 
(two hours later)
 
Firework: “…and so I thrust it out like this and stuck it in like this; trust me, this is when things get REALLY hot. You could tell she was feeling it when she started screaming…Storm’s a big screamer, but this was the loudest she’s ever been!”
 
Jewel: calmly drawing diagrams
 
Paint: “That explains the noises I heard last year when you were dating…”
 
Roy: on the verge of tears “I-is this over yet?”
 
Firework: “No way! We haven’t even talked about what happens when the mare gets preggers!”
 
Paint and Roy: fearfully clutching to each other
 
Firework: “So yeah, Storm got preggers with two brats and we’re both paying dumb child support now. She was still a great banger after that, though…yo Paint, her sister got her a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, if you want to further your education.”
 
Paint: whimpering “N-no, please!”
 
Firework: “Fine, suit yourself. Now, as I was saying…”
 
Rainbow: opens the door “Firework, what’s going on here?”
 
Firework: “Hi Mom! I’m just giving these kids a lesson on the creation of life!”
 
Rainbow: “Where did you get that book!?”
 
Firework: “Oh, this? Well, I-”
 
Rainbow: “I can’t believe you’ve been in my drawers! This was for me and your father only!”
 
Firework: “Wait, what?”
 
Rainbow: “Firework, you’re grounded. Jewel, Roy, go home.”
 
Roy: “B-but…”
 
Jewel: “Our parents are on a business trip! And we’re not even done with our lesson!”
 
Rainbow: “I don’t care! You’ve embarrassed me enough, just go!”
 
Roy: “Y-yes, ma’am…” starts sadly walking out the door
 
Jewel: “Aw, cheer up, Roy! We can continue the lesson when we get home!”
 
Roy: whimpers
 
(Roy and Jewel leave)
 
Rainbow: grabs Firework’s ear “You and I are going to have a LONG talk!”
 
Firework: “But Mom! This isn’t what it looks like!”
 
Rainbow: drags him out of the room
 
Paint: shaking on the floor “I’ll never see ponies the same way again…”