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Description

You looked over at the Pegasus who said that. She had sky blue fur with a mane and tail all the colors of the rainbow (which were messy and disheveled). On the counter, you noticed a tall glass mug that she was holding, and surrounding it were several bottles of what you presumed to be whiskey surrounding it-one of which had only half of its contents in it.
The Pegasus continued talking, “But not anymore! Now I’m just a…just a nobody who picksh up tresh for-for teh Wonderdolts!“ She looked at you while saying this, and you noticed that the whites of her eyes were red and bloodshot; either from lack of sleep, or all that alcohol she consumed, or maybe both. A trail of light brown liquid trickled out of her mouth-the same one that was in the mug. Yep, she was drunk.
“I remember when…when me and my bestest friendsh faced Nightmare Moon, and y-ya know what happened? We won. We won without the help of anypony elsh! *Hic* That was aweshome…“
You watched as she took a rather big drink from her mug.
“…but then, everything changed. Now we’re just a bunch of puny weaklings that can’t fight evil worth a crap! I mean, we can’t even usesh the-the Elements of Harmony anymore! How-How can we do hero stuff without the Elements? You tell me.”
Sadly, you did not know the answer to that question, since you had only been in this world for a couple years now.
“And then there’s our fightin’ abilities,” The pegasus continued. “We used to beh strong and able to kick bad guys in the ass! Blamo! But now we never get to fight back; we’re so weak that we-*hic*-always get captured and then some other schmuck hash to come along and save the day…lousy showoffs.”
She grabs the bottle that’s half-empty and pours all of it’s contents into her empty mug.
“Y’know, I used to be a world-classh athlete; I could-I could beat my bud AJ in a hoof wrestling match.” She said, flexing one of her forelegs. “Now I’m a wimp…a worthless wimp who can’t break out of ropes, chains, or even vines.” She looked at you with her bloodshot eyes. “I can’t break out of vines for buck’s sake! What kindofvan athlete am I?”
The rainbow-haired Pegasus turned back to the counter and drank from her mug. At this point, you could make out small tears forming in her eyes.
“*Hic* Let’sh face it; I can’t beat villains anymore, I can’t break myself outta getting tied up, I can’t use the Element of Loyalty…” Tears started to roll down her cheeks as she finished her drink. “I’m not a hero…I’m a-I’m a ZERO!”
She covered her face with her hooves and started to cry. Feeling sorry for the poor girl, you walked over to where she was sitting and placed a hand on her back.
“Listen, it’s okay.” You said, rubbing her back. “You may not think you’re an awesome hero anymore, but I do.“^
She lifted her head up and looked at you-her cheeks now soaked with her tears. “R-really? You mean it? Or are you jusht shaying that to make me feel better?”
You smiled at her. “Yes, I’m being honest with you.”
Before you knew it, she leaped into your chest and wrapped her forelegs around you, giving you a friendly (albeit drunken) hug. Seeing no other option, you hug her back. You swore you heard her purring as she rested her drunken head on your chest.
“Thank you,” She said. “Y-you know how to make a girl happy.”
“Not a problem.”
The two of you hugged for a good three minutes until you felt the Pegasus’s wings push on your arms, causing you both to let go of each other. You watched her hover in front of you like a wasted housefly. She smiled at you before letting out a large, unladylike belch; it smelled like fermented apples.
“I like you, man. We should be friendsh…my plash tomorrow night, mkay? Good, now I musht be off. *Hic* Rainbow Dash, away!”
CRASH!
You shielded your face for a brief moment, then looked up to see a large hole in the ceiling of the bar, which showcased a clear night sky and a vibrant rainbow-colored shockwave in the distance. You returned to the bar counter and finished your drink.
What you saw tonight wasn’t the weirdest thing you’ve seen in this world, but you knew it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

safe2258019 artist:dragonboi471301 rainbow dash289422 pony1689477 g42118580 1000 hours in ms paint7421 alcohol10722 beer2410 bottle6362 dashaholic81 drunk6213 drunk bubbles600 drunker dash488 female1898217 high res412447 mug6671 red eyes13451 solo1498189 story included13866
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DragonBoi471
Duck - Does Anypony Else even feel like Reading What I Say?
A Really Classy Artist - 250+ images under their artist tag
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

*Durgon Noises*
curse you, mysterious mare-do-well!
 
…And Tirek, and Starlight Glimmer, and Chrysalis, and Dr. Caballero, and Cozy Glow, and any other villain/monster that she never defeated.
DragonBoi471
Duck - Does Anypony Else even feel like Reading What I Say?
A Really Classy Artist - 250+ images under their artist tag
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

*Durgon Noises*
Artist’s Fun Fact: The number of bottles you see in this picture correspond to the number of times Rainbow was captured by a villain, as well as the number of times she (and her friends) failed to defeat a villain and save the day.
Boulder318

Was a rock.
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together  
We can beat them, forever and ever  
Oh, we can be heroes just for one day  
~~David Bowie ~~ Heroes.