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Page 342 - Smarmony Returns, Part 7Author: DigoGuest Author’s Note: “There’s always that one player at the table who either doesn’t pay attention to the little details of the plan, or doesn’t care about the details. Of the two types at my table, apathy strangely ends in a fire twice as often as ignorance.”Newbiespud’s Note: Have some optional viewing material.
Transcript:
DM: Hold on, you have no spells left!
Trixie: True, but there’s a scroll of Baleful Polymorph in our treasure list. If the kid’s unconscious, she gets no save.
Nurse Redheart: So you’re going to turn the kid into a goldfish?
DM: Yeah, that’s still an alignment hit!
Trixie: Ah, but the spell says I can choose any small, one hit die creature.
DM: So what?
Trixie: So, I polymorph the kid into a filly Earth Pony. She’s small, one hit die, unarmed, and without magic to feed the phylactery, Cadenza dies. Game. Set. MATCH!
DM: But that’s… No!
Derpy Hooves: Brilliant, Trixie! Bravo!
Cheerilee: Did Trixie just win using Yu-Gi-Oh logic?
DM: Curse your evil spell cheese!
Zecora: Victory! Looks like we can break this phylactery!
Trixie: Zecora, NO! It’s still connected to her-
<dead!>
Zecora: Oops…
Cheerilee: Got any spells to fix stupidity?
Trixie: Yeah, one. I CAST FIST!!
Ok, for starters, this is a D&D parody. All the ponies are being played as if they were characters in a tabletop RPG.
Next, the DM(or GM, Game Master, whatever) is actively trying to screw the party over by making them either commit a blatantly evil act (killing a child, even if child is linked to a source of evil) or being roasted by a lich(undead wizard). However, Trixie has found a loophole that will get them out of it: she’ll use a baleful polymorph spell, which is a spell that you use to turn an enemy into something else (think Warcraft where mages could turn orcs into sheep) on the linked foal. Normally, this would also be evil, because turning a little kid permanently into something like a goldfish is bad. However, Trixie is thinking creatively and will turn the foal into an earth pony, which would break the link the the phylactery(the source of evil) because earth ponies don’t have (blatant) magic. HOWEVER, Zecora’s player jumped the gun and smashed the thing first…before Trixie could unlink it from the kid, killing her and screwing the plan up.