The Downfall of Bhaalspawn (contains possible SJW discussions)

@platinummanaxl
“A new year, a new time for whining”

anonymous asked:
What do I do if I suspect I’m being emotionally manipulated, but I also suspect the person is not doing it intentionally?

Don’t take the bait.

A lot of people engage in behavior that can subtly manipulate extremely empathic people or people who have become extremely wary of said behavior through past interactions and toxic relationships.

It can be hard tell the difference between somebody who is manipulative, and somebody who’s just being a baby, especially in a time where wallowing in self-pity is the default reaction for some people (and one that Tumblr adamantly encourages). And it doesn’t help that a lot of people refuse to acknowledge that the line between the two even exists.

I have the right to feel my emotions. They don’t have to make sense or be justified. But I also have to actively set a limit on how long I continue to feel that way before I do something to change what I’m feeling. And many of what I’m going to call “passively manipulative” people are that way precisely because they refuse to set that limit and refuse to do something about what’s making them feel that way.

If you’re unsure which it is, the best recourse is to ignore it. If the person is trying to manipulate you, taking the bait is exactly what they want you to do. If the person is just sulking by default, taking the bait to coddle them and make them feel better isn’t helping anyone. It actually makes it worse because it means that sulking results in pleasurable stimulation. So the brain does more of it.

Never take the bait. It’s better for everyone involved.

anonymous asked:
What’s the difference between healthy self-pity and sulking?

Making the conscious decision to mope and feel sorry for yourself when you have the power to make the situation better.

If the situation is out of your control, then feeling sorry for yourself can be healthy (provided you don’t go comically overboard). However, nine times out of ten the situation IS in the person’s control and it’s just easier to sulk until it either (temporarily) goes away or people leave you alone.

anonymous asked:
I’ll probably come across as overly-idealistic, or possibly even naïve, but shouldn’t we all be looking at these villain redemptions as being a GOOD thing? Regardless of how little time they take, or how well-written they are, shouldn’t we be glad that bad people are turning good? That these characters go from a life of evil and choose to be better than they were? Even with just MLP as an example, I’d be ecstatic if they actually managed to be friends with EVERYONE, no matter their past.

You’re focusing on the idea and not the execution.

It’s not good just because of the theoretical potential it might have. Presenting an idea poorly does a massive disservice to that idea, and it should not be exempt from criticism just because you think it’s a fundamentally good thing.

The problem is when you have villains that commit extremely horrific acts of brutality and get forgiven for it with little to no effort, you instill the false belief in people that it doesn’t matter what they do in life, as long as they say they’re sorry everything will be forgiven. That simply isn’t true, and there are many cases where a person can do unforgivable things that result in either criminal sentences, or the loss of friends.

And in a time where people can quickly discover that their closest friends will gladly vote away their very humanity, it’s a terrible idea to just push the tired old “forgive, forget, get over it” mentality.

So no, it’s NOT a good thing, explicitly because the writers keep doing it extremely badly. Good intentions do not erase terrible actions, and when you write a redemption as weak, rushed, and impractical, you do the very concept of redemption and forgiveness a disservice.

Execution > Intent EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

scarlet-titan

Social rules can’t be taught in a logical way because they are at their core, illogical. Allistics are also known to just make up a social rule out of nowhere to benefit themselves in a situation over an autistic person. I’ve experienced this many times.

Example:
Me: That thing you said the other day really bothered me and I would like to talk about it.

Allistic: You should have brought it up at that exact moment. It’s the social rule, I won’t discuss it further. But I have a problem with something you said weeks ago.

That isn’t even hyperbole, I actually had that happen. They tried to enforce some “social rule” on me and then immediately broke that same rule in the same statement.

How exactly are we supposed to teach people how to navigate situations like this in a logical way?


lily-peet
The concept of a contradictory statement is not lost on people, though what to do when confronted with one can sometimes be harder to parse out. In this sort of situation we teach people that those with contradictory social rules that seemingly never apply to themselves are merely making excuses to avoid criticism while also making their own openings to dish it out in the same situation.

We call that a “Fuck you, got mine” attitude.

So you point out the immediate contradiction and refuse to allow it to continue. You say “If you’re going to immediately break your own rule, then I am not obligated to follow it. Now going back to what you said the other day…”

A rule that is stated and then immediately contradicted is invalid. The person in question will stomp their feet and resist. That doesn’t make them right, and it doesn’t make the skill bullshit because navigating this kind of persecution complex IS the skill. And you will never fully understand it, it’s a constant learning experience. Not just for neurodivergent people, but neurotypical people as well.

The number of neurotypical people I’ve met for whom “open your mouth and say something” is an alien concept is staggering. It doesn’t matter how many excuses they make or how much they dig in their heels and resist, it’s something they have to learn. And the same applies to you.

You’re acting like the concept of deception or general asshole-behavior is going to be lost on people. It won’t be. Struggling with social interaction and social cues is exactly that: Struggle. It’s not a completely alien language. It will only be so if you make excuses not to learn.


scarlet-titan
I’m acting like this because I was told by outside observers that I was in the wrong. I was told I should apologize to them and roll over to their whims. It didn’t matter that they broke the social rule they just made up, I as the autistic person, had to submit to them.

Also if you read my notes on this post, I point out how these social rules are never applied to allistics. If an autistic person expects an allistic to follow the social rules that were hounded into them they are derided as “snowflakes.” Remember that autistic boy who expected Pence to apologize after he accidentally hit him?

Like I said, you can’t teach the “social rules” because allistics make them up as they personally suit them. It is an “alien language” because you all keep changing it. You can’t expect any autistic to keep up. Why not just say what you mean instead of all this exhaustive bullshit? Plus in your last statement you sound a hell of a lot like those anti-vaxxers who try to get me to try their bullshit “autism cures.”

And why are you even replying to this now? This post is months old. I know you didn’t just find it since your friend, patchworkheart, had replied to it when it was new. I had completely forgot about this post.


lily-peet

I point out how these social rules are never applied to allistics. 

Bullshit. This kind of behavior is found everywhere. These kind of persecution-complex riddled pustules behave this way with everybody. Make an expectation of behavior and then don’t follow through on it because they have an overwhelming “fuck you, got mine” attitude.

You respond by taking a far more aggressive stance against that bullshit.
Just because Pence refused to apologize doesn’t mean he changed the social rule. It means he’s a prick that deserves to be beaten with a shovel.

Like I said, you can’t teach the “social rules” because allistics make them up as they personally suit them. 

Speaking of persecution complexes, you can continue the narrative that social rules are made up specifically so allistic people can lord over autistic people all you want, but it doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.

You CAN teach these things, and many autistic people learn it with relative ease. Most, actually. I have taught these things to autistic children. It’s not just about polite conversation, it’s also about recognizing when someone is not following social protocol and changing your own actions accordingly, be it aggression, sarcasm, or taking control of the conversation.

Plus in your last statement you sound a hell of a lot like those anti-vaxxers who try to get me to try their bullshit “autism cures.” 

Fuck off. Bothering to teach someone a basic skill that can be easily picked up (many of whom do, you are the exception, not the rule) and not accepting excuses to not bother trying is not in any way equal to pushing bullshit about vaccinations, giving someone a bleach enema, or severely emotionally traumatizing a person to the point of post traumatic stress disorder.

If you cannot grasp the difference between lessons in social nuance and inserting bleach into the body, you are just a fucking awful excuse for human being regardless of any neurodivergence.

Your assertion that autistic people cannot grasp these basic skills, or worse are completely incapable of working out the concept of defensiveness and hypocrisy, or can’t grasp concepts like “that guy was bullshitting you”, even in spite of overwhelming results to the contrary, is quite frankly the most disgusting, offensive, and flat out bullshit lie I have ever heard someone claim about Autism directly to my face.

Because they do grasp it. They grasp it all the time. What you pretend is some kind of herculean task is so commonly understood that it’s practically mundane.

And as someone who has worked as a counselor I know how completely full of shit you are. I know that you are 1/500. You are a loud, but minuscule minority. You are not any way representative of the majority of people with autism, and you really need to stop throwing them under the bus to justify your persecution complex.

Grow the fuck up.

@Jas
||do you have any plans this news years day? Also am the only one that like the jumanji welcome to jungle movie? ||