[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Applejack007  
Both our schedules are fucked up. I just always feel like I’m selfish for wanting to sleep.
 
And yes, this is all my own fabrication.

@LightningBolt  
I get that way too when I just want to sleep through the morning because I’ve been up all night…fuck.

@Applejack007  
Time zones suck.

@LightningBolt  
Time in general sucks

@Assertive Derpness  
True dat

@CyanLightning  
Can i continue this almost month old topic for a few posts?  
i handled that one pretty poorly, maybe i was just too lazy to add anything…

I hate how I feel. Angry and annoyed, I should just let things go. I knew I was going to dwell on that little “argument”. Just wish it didn’t happen..my frustration is directed at the wrong person.

That was me ^ but also..I do weird stuff. Like just eat because the food is there and not because I’m hungry. Not helping my weight issue..

I’ve shut off my emotions.

@Background Pony #A9C7  
Well done. Emotions are the worst thing on Earth.

@Genevamode
 
Actually they’re evolutionarily advantageous and allow for quicker reactions and decision making in situations were logical throughput is impossible or undesirable.
 
Only when they run amok are they a problem.

@Zincy  
Good point.

@Genevamode  
Yet another friend died today. I’m done feeling.

I have this sort of..silent anger and I just feel really violent.

@Applejack007  
Me too. What kind of thoughts do you get?

@Genevamode  
Everything from disturbing to petty and annoying.

Have you ever had one of those days in which the planets align to decide: “this person should do everything wrong today for our amusement”?
 
Well, that.
 
^{*(of course, it’s just a series of unfavorable coincidences and this is a silly post, but still).*}

It’s crazy to me how much I’m not really reacting to certain things.

Time for another soul sucking day of work. Trying hard not to break down in tears.

Several things happening over the past few days have been really affecting me.

I put myself down alot. Like really hard.

I sleep all day. I feel i Just nothing have to do. I dont want to sleep but i cant listening to music and nap a bit. Im not sad but bored. I will force myself to stay awake. Coffee just makes me sleepy. Im just working and sleeping. Not good.

@platinumdrop  
Hmmm… I think you’re going through a discovery moment.

I had depression before for a while. Im just too experienced to be really depressed again. Things come, things go away. I just dont know what to do with my free time. I’m 29. I had a few depressed years (4-5). Well, its over and i think it wasnt bad.

Great news:  
Doctor said yes to helping me with my ODSP  
And referred me to psychiatrist and a counselor