I think I may be suffering from depression or anxiety lately.
So bad that I don’t visit this site frequently anymore.
Everytime I wake up in the morning, I always cry. I cry because I will wake up just from seeing my dying cat with few years left to live right now from her kidney failure. And also reminiscing our good memories we had for the past 5 years.
This bond is so great, it’s like I consider her as my own daughter.
I only found her since 2017 when she was a tiny little stray kitten wandering off my streets begging for food.
I feel like we were both blessed by God to have our paths crossed because if I haven’t found her in the right place and the right time, I believe she wouldn’t last a few weeks on the streets and die from starvation.
Again, so blessed to have her to be a part of my family and life.
Also, there’s a part of me that tells me that I’ve been a bad parent to her because I failed to make her healthy and live as long as most normal cats would live; up to more than 10 years. …Am I a good or bad father to her?
~If I say no, then it’s because I may have inadvertedly let her got from this disease and only noticed it when it’s too late. Or, it may be fate that she will have this sooner than later. Who am I to judge?
~If I say yes, then I made her live a happy life with a caring superior living in a cozy home for 5 years with privacy. Away from being a poor little stray hungry kitty that she was inb4 I found her.
I guess being a furparent for the first time would be difficult because they will have to deal with this kind of loss.
This is what everybody kept telling me if that day would come; prepare myself from a loss physically, and mentally.
As of now, she is still being strictly fed with medicated food through syringe, taking supplements, antibiotic pills, and infusion of IV solution. She is now on permanent renal diet.
Still looks underweight and malnourished but can still normally walk on her own. She likes to go out for fresh air.
All that supervision and care belongs to me everyday 24/7.
…that also makes me her own guardian angel as well ain’t it?