Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

They taste like tacos.
 
I wish to win the elections in USA.

@Twi_Clown  
You’re now president, but both sides of the news media are against you, (especially CNN & Fox) and the protesters won’t shut up!  
Also, your vice-prez ate the last doughnut…
 
I wish for one of those cool new retro 1up arcade cabinets.

It’s old and shitty.
 
I wish Metallica never sold out.

They break up early at the height of their fame
 
I wish to meet Prince’s ghost

You meet The Artist Formerly Known as Prince’s Ghost
 
I wish Steve Irwin was alive

Granted, he is mauled to death by a Grizzly bear instead.
 
I wish Stephen Hawking had injected with immortality DNA.

He still has his mind trapped inside his body
 
I wish for sheesh

You get ignored
 
I wish to control fire and not accidentally burn stuff

You intentionally burn stuff as it turns you into an arsonist
 
I wish to be left handed

You lost you right hand.
 
I wish to be undehanded in all of my competitions.

You get handed under everyone at anything you attempt
 
I wish for a promotion

You are promoted to a post you hate.
 
I wish to conquer Australia.

You get rapidly attack by an emu ambush
 
I wish to tame lions

Granted, you get eaten by tigers.
 
I wish to conquer the poster below’s country.

You’ll get drive-by by Duterte’s Death Squad.
 
I wish to drive a Battleship.

Granted. You get to drive a 1979 Chevy Impala (we called ours the Battleship.)
 
I wish to own a mint condition 2011 Mercury Grand Marquis.

It’s a literal mint shaped like a 2011 Mercury Grand Marquis that a family member then chews in front of you
 
I wish for an anvil

You actually died from the drop because cartoon logic doesn’t exist.
 
I wish to fly a Sukhoi Su-35 Flanker.

You don’t have a license and therefore you crash
 
I wish for it to not be cold

El Niño wants you to be his best friend.
 
I wish for it to not be hot.

You live in the antartica with penguins.
 
I wish to give haircuts to trashcans.

Your local city fines you for littering
 
I wish for ice cream

Melted ice cream.
 
I wish to murder toys.

You murdered the wrong toy. …The real men’s toy that is.
 

 
I wish my tuna has less formaldehyde.