Stupid stuff that comes to mind that we want to post

if i lived in the legend of zelda i would go into dungeons, steal the dungeon item, and then sell it to link knowing he can’t just kill me and take it because it’s against the game’s rules.
 
and then it would occur to me that in the legend of zelda rupees are largely worthless as you can make enough to finance your house just by mowing the lawn, and i would feel incredibly stupid for having put my life on the line like that for no reason.
 
and then it would hit me that if i died i’d have just reappeared at the beginning of the temple with 3 hearts, so i was never at risk to begin with.
 
and then i’d say fuck it and go to the milk bar to get drunk since milk apparently gets you drunk there (it happens in majora’s mask).
 
and then i’d realize link, a ten (?) year old, was running around drinking booze on his quest to save the world, and suddenly it would all make sense.

just once i want to do this in my life:
 

@DanielTepesKraus  
Oh hey! Badumsquish finally told me that story. I kinda wanna have sex with both of you now.

i actually really enjoy castlevania 64

butts make poo

when using irc it makes a small “ping” noise when you type someone’s name.
 
god has given me this most wonderful means of annoying the shit out of people.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Which is why I rarely frequent the Derpi IRC.

@DanielTepesKraus  
Guts make poo. Butts merely excrete the finished product.

Deep web show me the illegal Jojo subs with the right Stand names.

@DanielTepesKraus  
zelda is great

Escargot is delicious.

@Solitude  
thus your guts are the chef and your butt the waiter.
 
@SquiggyBomb  
it’s usually stupid, but it has it’s moments.

exit signs have a house in them between the E and the X. you cannot unsee this.  

@DanielTepesKraus  
i hate you so much

@DanielTepesKraus  
Apt analogy.
 
@DanielTepesKraus  
I can actually unsee that. Neat.

Have you ever felt the spontaneous urge to dance?

Anime is cancer, and I like it a bit

all i know about soccer is people argue over whether it’s called that or football, and that the objective is to get the ball into the goal with your feet to win touchdowns.
 
my daughter is presumably good at it, as she can get the ball to her feet and keep it there as she moves about the field, and has scored a few touchdowns, so i delight in going to her games and cheering for her.
 
however, because i know little about soccer and i am monumentally immature, i giggle whenever people say things along the lines of “get the d in there!” “what’s wrong with the d?!” “why isn’t the d on her?!” i’m assuming “the d” is an integral part of the game and not a dirty in-joke, but i’ve been wrong before.
 
today however this 80-something year old lady looks at my glowing grin as someone is yelling “work the d!” and politely says “not that d, dear.”
 
i’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.
 
@SquiggyBomb  
yes

@DanielTepesKraus  
That lady sounds like someone I would want to share tea with.

What would the best way to go about learning French?

@SquiggyBomb
 
The same way you’d go about learning any other language.

@SquiggyBomb  
go to french canada and be tabarnak d’osti-ed into oblivion.

@archestereo  
And how would THAT be senpai?

@SquiggyBomb
 
You don’t know? But you speak english so well!
 
_{…your japanese could use some work, though…}